235. Mastering Confidence When Speaking

Hosted by the inspirational Lucy Liu, this episode is a must-listen for anyone who finds themselves nervous about public speaking, whether it’s in front of a camera, a crowd, or even just a few people. Lucy shares her expert advice on how to build and maintain confidence in any speaking situation.

Lucy begins by dispelling the myth that confidence is not an inherent trait. Instead, she asserts that confidence is a learned skill that anyone can develop with practice and the right mindset. She challenges listeners to make a firm decision to become their most confident selves, emphasizing that confidence is a choice and a way of living and dives into actionable tips to boost your speaking confidence.

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This episode is for you if you ever find yourself a little nervous when speaking in public, speaking to a camera or speaking to others because I’m going to teach you my best tips on how to be more confident when speaking. Hello hello beautiful souls, welcome back and I believe I’m qualified to talk about this topic because I speak on the topic of confidence, I facilitate workshops around building confidence and I get this alot: “Lucy, you seem so confident!” Well I’m going to start with that being confident is a decision. 

Confidence is not something you have or don’t have, it is a way of living life, it is your choice to be that person or not.

Before we go any further, have you made the decision to be that confident version of you? 

Are you still blaming your parents for not giving you confidence genes? No, confidence is not something we are born with, it is a learned skill and with practice anyone can be as confident as you wish to be. 

Are you still admiring others who are so charismatic when they are speaking? No need for that, you can be the exact same way with practice. But do you even believe that’s possible? 

Do you think you are not confident because you are an introvert and you can’t be loud? Eh Eh! Don’t let being an introvert or being quiet be your excuse to step up your game. Confidence is not about decibels, I can be the most quiet person in the room yet still be the most confident! 

So after you have made a firm decision to be a confident speaker, always believe that building confidence in speaking is a skill that can be developed with practice and most importantly the right mindset. 

Here are my top 4 tips to help you become more confident when speaking:

1. Adopt a Confident Posture Body Language: Stand tall, make eye contact, and use open gestures. Confident body language can influence how others perceive you and how you feel about yourself. If I need to be more confident, I personally like to do the power pose, the superman or superwoman pose where you raise both of your arms up above your head. This body language sends signals to your brain to be more powerful and it’s helped me alot. When you use the restroom before an important meeting, virtual or in person, you can do this to power up. Breathe Deeply: Deep breathing before speaking can calm nerves and help you stay focused. 

2. Prepare Thoroughly Practice, Practice, Practice: Remember we said confidence skill takes practice. IF you are giving a talk, rehearse your speech. Practice in front of a mirror, record yourself and listen back. When I first started being interviewed on other podcasts, I would get so nervous, but after some episodes, I no longer needed to prepare materials because I had enough practice. I would also listen back to hear what filler words I was using and that’s how I got rid of my uhms. You have to build your confidence muscles just like going to the gym. If you are nervous around people, get more practice speaking to others and it gets better because your confidence muscle will grow. 

3. Focus on the Audience, Not Yourself What we focus on grows! 

Shift the Focus: Concentrate on the message you want to deliver and the value it provides to your audience rather than on your own fears. 

If you focus on your fears, your fears will grow, if you focus on how introverted you are, you will start feeling you can’t be as confident and you’ll start shrinking. If you focus on what others will think of you, you will start feeling like a clown. 

But, on the brighter side, If you focus on what value you can provide your audience, you become valuable. If you focus on how you can bring positivity to each of your engagements with other people, you will start to feel good about yourself and in turn be more confident in continuing to show your power. 

4. Turn Anxiety into Excitement: 

What do I mean by that Lucy? Well when you think you are anxious from speaking, whether that’s before speaking to a group of new friends or speaking in front of your boss in a meeting, you might start feeling physical symptoms such as sweaty palms or racing heart or butterflies in the stomach. Because of these symptoms you start telling yourself you are nervous and you can’t do it. Well what if I told you are not having an anxiety attack, you might be having an excitement attack? Does that change things for you? I don’t know about you, but when I ride the rollercoaster, I get all those symptoms and I feel excited. Same with speaking, if you get these symptoms, don’t automatically think you are anxious, because you listened to this podcast today, just know that there is another possibility, that your body is feeling excited for this new speaking endeavor and just go for it. 

Which tip do you like best? Let me know.