242. Be Authentic Be Yourself But Don’t Be Selfish

Today’s episode is for you if you find yourself struggling to find a balance between being authentically yourself with the responsibilities and the roles we have in society, family, and work.

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There is alot of talk on the topic of you be you and I’m definitely a big advocate for being yourself, I speak often about this, you get to design your life and you get to do whatever you want, you just be you, but I had give some tough love today and to point out there is a difference between being authentically yourself and being selfish. 

Many young people nowadays excuse themselves from responsibilities and simply say “oh I’m just being myself”. Yes it’s your life, you get to decide what you wear, what you eat, where to go, who to be with, these small decisions of your life you can absolutely decide based solely on your own preferences. 

However, for the bigger things, like work, family, or we can even broaden that to for our country, you need to first fulfill your role in it or else it’s selfish. If your role is an employee, you have to fulfill your duties as an employee first. If you are a soldier, you would fight for your country. If your role is a mom, you are responsible to feed your child. Now don’t overthink this, if your child is fed and has basic needs taken care of, you’re doing amazing work, I’m not here to make you think you are bad at what you do, but I’m simply here to remind you that when you attend your responsibilities first before you go create the life you want you will experience alot more freedom and confidence. 

Yes, you have the freedom to embrace who you are and make personal choices, such as how you dress, the hobbies you pursue, or the lifestyle you choose. These aspects of life are personal and can be decided based on your individual preferences. Yes, being true to yourself can contribute significantly to your mental health and personal satisfaction. On the other hand, of course suppressing your true self can lead to stress and dissatisfaction.

But… in a professional setting, fulfilling your duties is a responsibility. While it’s important to bring your authentic self to work and raise your voice during meetings, you still need to meet the responsibilities of your role. This ensures the smooth functioning of the organization or your company. If you are a parent, spouse, or family member, your responsibilities often include caring for and supporting others. Being authentic involves being true to yourself, aligning your actions with your values, and expressing your individuality. But being authentic does not mean neglecting your family duties; rather, it involves finding ways to fulfill them while staying true to your values. If you use being yourself as the excuse to neglect any of your responsibilities, then that is selfish. So please be authentically yourself but don’t be selfish. 

So here are my top 3 tips to balancing between being your authentically self with the responsibilities and roles we have in society, family, and work.

1. Self-Awareness: I’m going to start probably every topic with self-awareness because it is really self-awareness that gets us started on the path we want to go. So if you want to balance your values and your duties of course you must start by understanding your own values, needs, and limits, that is the first step. Knowing when you’re making a choice for personal authenticity and when you’re avoiding responsibility is crucial. So leave time for reflection and journaling, nature walks, any down time to have the opportunities to be more aware of your circumstance. Remember to be open and honest with those around you about your needs and boundaries can help you balance personal authenticity with social roles.
2. Prioritization: Values and priorities go together hand in hand. Sometimes, fulfilling responsibilities might mean temporarily compromising on personal preferences. The key is to find a balance that does not lead to long-term personal dissatisfaction or neglect of duties. Some people think there is not a balance after all, it is simply choosing your priorities. So as long as your priorities are being met, you are in balance. And remember flexibility and adaptability is also essential. This means sometimes prioritizing personal needs and other times prioritizing social responsibilities. But you get to choose what your priorities are in different seasons of your life. 
3. Ethical considerations: I have always felt in balance in life because one of my top priorities is being ethical. When making a decision, I always consider how my actions would impact those around me. Authenticity should not come at the expense of others’ well-being. Just as you seek to be yourself, respect others’ needs and their roles in life and society as well. This is why when you are not being selfish, it creates a more harmonious environment where everyone can thrive together.

So again, being authentically yourself is important, but it must be balanced with fulfilling your roles and responsibilities. This balance ensures personal fulfillment while contributing positively to your family, workplace, and society.

Growing up, I was taught that being proud was a negative thing, that it was selfish and could intimidate others. But now I think pride is not a bad thing. In fact, it’s something we should embrace. Take pride in your authenticity. Being proud of who you are will help you live your life authentically and celebrating what you’ve already accomplished is your key component of confidence.

Cheers to you becoming that next best version of yourself and I’ll see you in the next episode.