This episode is for you if you want to learn from the wisdom and mindset from Brynn Snyder, the 7 figure co-founder and CEO of Slate Flosser.

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Hello, hello, beautiful souls. Welcome back to another episode. And I’m so excited to be here with you to share the mindset of another seven figure business owner.

And I’m excited to welcome my guest, Bryn Snyder, co founder and CEO of Slate Flosser. Welcome to the show, Bryn.

Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited to be here. And I hope that I can help someone else not make the same problems I made.

It’s beautiful. I actually was gifted a set of Slate Flosser and it was sitting in my drawer for a whole year before I opened it. And the first time I used it, I was like, Oh my goodness, why did I let this sit in my drawer for a whole year?

It is absolutely amazing. So I love your product. Actually, I’m a big fan.

Well, thank you so much. I actually we’ve noticed that if someone’s gifted it, sometimes they’re like apprehensive to use it. But we’re trying to figure out how do we make this more approachable and more exciting because once people use it, they’re like, Oh my gosh, this is so easy.

Because we’re so conditioned to use a good old floss, right?

Or not use but you know, there’s some people who do use it.

Awesome. Okay, so obviously, you’ve gotten to where you are, because we have these beliefs. And early on in your business, what do you think you had to unlearn to get you to where you are today?

Oh, that’s a hard question. So I actually grew up as an entrepreneur. So I was lucky enough when I was 13.

My mom helped me start a business. And anytime I’d have questions, I’d ask her and so I was really fortunate to, I think I made a lot of mistakes then. So with Slate, I think the thing that was probably the biggest thing I had to unlearn was profit margins need to be higher.

We obviously all want to offer our product at the best price possible. But you have to make money in order to be a business. So we did a Kickstarter and our profit margins were not high enough.

And so when we came out with our product, we had luckily learned that so our profit margins we increased.

Okay, and along the way, when these are not working out great, I envision that there might be some self doubt that creep in some imposter syndrome, right?

So luckily, I have a therapist. So anytime I feel like I have self doubt or frustrated with something, it’s nice to have another person be like, wait, you felt you you were a failure, but you didn’t fail. Like at last year, my goal was to do three and a half million dollars.

And that’s our second year in and I was like, okay, but we actually beat that goal. And when we were when we knew we were going to beat it, I’ve made a bigger goal. And we didn’t hit the big, big goal.

And I was like, so sad. And they were everyone reminded me like Britain, your first goal was 3.5. And you beat that. So you need to be happier.

And I just think as an entrepreneur, sometimes we set the bar, we just keep putting the bar higher and higher instead of being like really happy with our success that we’ve achieved.

Such a great reminder. As a matter of fact, I just got off of another call, which is the monthly workshop I hold called I am remarkable. And it’s where we practice saying how much we accomplished, because that’s what we want to focus on.

There’s no too small, right? There’s right. There’s always room for improvement.

Yes. But look how far you’ve already come. Look how much you’ve already accomplished.

And it’s a great reminder, especially for women, that you are remarkable and just focus on what you have already accomplished.

I totally agree. I think that would be such a beneficial class, because we almost every month, I have to remind myself like, Okay, we did all these amazing things this month, Bryn, we got this. And it’s good to have the team there.

Because otherwise, you just always feel like a failure. You got to remind yourself what you’re doing. That’s awesome.

What do you think are the small habits and or rituals? Because I believe all the smaller habits added up make the biggest impact on our growth journey. So what are the small habits you think that made the biggest impact in your personal or business growth?

So we always have goals. And I think that habit of having an achievable goal is really important. I always want to make them be achievable goals, because I don’t want to always feel like I’m failing.

So making projections that I feel like I can achieve in every at the beginning of every month, I let everyone on our team know what our goal is. And then in the middle of the month, we kind of do a check in and see like, do we need to adjust our goal? Like, oh, sales are going way faster, we actually need to up our goal or sales are way down what what external components are causing that.

So we do and now I can’t remember the acronym, but it’s like a SWOT assessment after big launches or different things. And we say like, what went right, what went wrong. So I just think goal setting is probably the best habit that we have, because it helps us all be on track and know what we’re doing right and wrong.

But I think it’s okay to not hit a goal too. So we set the goals and when we don’t hit them, we ask ourselves why. But I think goal setting is my favorite habit.

And then delegation is the hardest thing to do, but the most important thing to do. So every month we get either a new employee or a new thing that changes and you have to learn how to delegate or you’re going to get burnt out.

I love it. Goal setting is something I love talking about as well. If you don’t accomplish your goals, that means you have to chunk down your goals further, you have to get detailed, make it smaller, and it’ll become inevitable that you accomplish your goals.

Yes. Okay, Brian, can you share a time when you faced a major setback or failure in your business?

Which one? I think so when we first developed our product, we had some manufacturing issues and we were trying to get our product out because we had run a Kickstarter and our product didn’t come out for another six months because of issues. And it was so, so frustrating.

And if you don’t have product to sell, you can’t make money. And I just felt so stressed out. And I was just seeing our bank account go lower and lower.

And I remember I was laying in bed and I was like, how am I going to do this? And instead of quitting, I was like, okay, let’s figure out how am I going to do this? So I think that when we hit failure, you need to ask smarter people than you and have a positive outlook on how can I fix this?

Because I just went and I found people who I really trusted. And I said, this is my situation. How do I work on this?

And then they’re like, okay, a product doesn’t have to be perfect, but it has to be really great. So I think there’s this fine line in a product development where you need it to be really great. But perfection is going to take you too much time to get to.

So understanding that 90% is better than 100%, which I wouldn’t have ever thought before.

And that leads right into my next question, which is so you need to bounce back, right? There’s always feelings of doubt or feelings of giving up when these setbacks arise. What what’s going on in your mind?

What mindset do you remind yourself? How do you bounce back?

So I am lucky. I have a very positive attitude normally. And I usually speak to myself very kindly.

So I am lucky because I have, I have five kids and I can see some of them don’t speak as kind to themselves as others. So I am lucky in that way that I don’t dwell on the negative. And I just think, okay, how do I move forward?

And, and I usually, maybe to my detriment that my therapist would say is sometimes I don’t feel as much as I should. I just like go into like logic production mode. But I would just say to people like, we need to be so much nicer to myself.

I see how one of my daughters speaks to herself. And if I could just tell her what I think about her, I always like, I do say to them sometimes, like the way you think about others, you should think about yourself. And so my sisters tell me I can do anything.

And I’m like, you’re right. Like, let’s do this. I can.

I love what you said about taking your daughter in a positive way, because that’s a ripple effect into our society. And growing a business with a big family is tough, right? But you’ve worked hard, and you should be proud of what you have accomplished.

That is amazing.

It is a lot of work.

I’m sure there are a lot of tough decisions along the way, right? Definitely. How did you push through when you had to make a tough decision?

I kind of when I have tough decisions, sometimes they cause you to have so many sleepless nights, like or for instance, like letting someone go that’s always so hard because you like love or I usually like love all my employees. And so letting someone go is usually so hard for me. And I think you just you have to go into it prepped and ready because tough decisions, no matter what they are, just stress you out.

And so if you if you go into them prepared, it’s a lot easier to follow through with what you’re going to do. So with tough decisions, I like to make sure I’ve created a good plan. And sometimes I’ll ask a trusted advisor on like, okay, this is what I’m doing.

Is this a good decision? And then once I’ve made that decision, that it’s a good decision, I just, I try to get it done as fast as possible. For instance, like if you are no, you’re gonna let someone go and and you wait a whole month, that means you had a whole month of bad sleeping.

But if you would have done it the second day, like just get this stuff done.

I love it. And I love how you have help. You said you work with the therapist that support is amazing, right?

Oh, so so beneficial. What is what would you say was your therapist’s favorite advice to you?

Trust my gut. Most of the time, like, I know what I need to do. I just need to do it.

That is so true. We as women, we are always waiting for a new sign. We’re waiting for external validation.

We’re waiting for I don’t know, we’re just never ready. So I love that advice a lot. What do you think is something about growing a business to seven figures that no one talks about?

super lonely and super hard. And so because of that, I will, especially as a woman, I feel like you have to put yourself in social circles, you have to make the time you have to network. I don’t think my business could have grown as fast if I wouldn’t have spent the energy and time networking.

I felt so lonely. So I went and I looked and I found a female founders group of other females and I went on a vacation with them. I got to know them and they became a great support to me.

I also do network events in my own city because there’s not a lot of CPG or women businesses in my city yet yet because we’re going to be there soon. I go to networking events with men and I have to just realize that they can be some of your biggest assets. So strategize with them and learn from them.

That is very true. I’m glad you found your circle. And I’m glad that you’re here to tell us that that circle is really important that people around you, right?

They say you become the you become who the five closest to you are. And so if you want to be a founder, get a surround yourself with founders, you want to be that version of you that higher version of you, make sure you are surrounded with positive people like that.

Yeah, when I actually joined the group, you were supposed to make a minimum of $2 million. And I was at like 100,000. And I just said, please, can I come I really benefit from this and they let me come and I would never have thought I could do $1 million that year.

And I did. And I felt like it was because I figured out what they were doing. And they and they people want to help you.

Most people want to help. So just ask.

Yes, that’s so true. I want to help everyone, every stranger I’m going to smile to and if they ask me a question, I want to help them. We want to give back to society we want to give to others.

I think it’s genuinely really beneficial for all of us to grow together. So that is great advice as well. And you did mention there’s a lot of mistakes along the way.

So from what you see, or what you hear, what do you think are some most common mistakes from other founders that you’ve seen?

I think thinking that virality is going to make us money. I think we see that that can happen and like, oh, they got this break or that break. But the most important thing I think in a business is consistency.

If you consistently do stuff, you will catch a big break. It’s like my mom always used to say, like, the harder you work, the luckier you get. And I totally agree with that.

Like, the people who have things that go well, it’s because they’re, they’re doing the same things over and over again.

Yes, yes. Virality is only overnight, but consistency is okay, Brynn’s business is doing well. I’m going to buy her flosser.

Yes, exactly.

So I think virality is amazing if you can get it to happen. But like, I remember I paid an influencer to do something for me because she had a lot of followers and it was, it was the biggest waste of money. And I was just like, it’s, it’s hard.

I think influence, I’ve seen influencers work and I have paid influencers that work, but typically I have them show me that they can make the money first before paying.

Great reminder. And you mentioned working with the influencers. So there are all these opportunities, right?

Even just when you have a business, it doesn’t matter what type of business, you’re going to get DMs, you’re going to get emails, like pitching you all these opportunities left and right, right? Like for me, I’m an author, I’m a speaker. So every single day, I’m getting these DMs about talks, like, or features in the media, just loads of opportunities.

But of course, we know, you know, to say no to those paid opportunities. How about for you, Brynn? How do you know when to say yes or no to an opportunity for you?

It’s so hard. It’s so hard. I think you can tell what I’ve started to learn is, is like, it only works if people genuinely love my product.

So if people don’t genuinely love my product, I don’t want to work with them. Like, I don’t care how big they are, how cool they are. If they aren’t telling their friends outside of something like, oh my gosh, I have this product and I love it, then they’re not, it’s usually not the right fit.

And so I feel like you got to trust your gut and get data. I love data. I make almost all my decisions on get all the data, see how do people interact?

What we’ve seen is like, if we’re talking about influencers, the smaller influencers usually perform better than the really big ones. So I just think we at Slate, we try things and when they work, we keep doing them. And when they don’t work, we stop doing them.

You don’t know unless you try. So just make sure that the decision you make isn’t going to put your business out of business. So, you know, if you, if you only have $5,000, don’t spend all $5,000 on a trade show, do stuff until you have $20,000 and then you can spend money on a trade show.

I love the advice. Something I say very often is also do what has already worked for you, right? Because so many people get carried away, something worked and they see this other marketing technique or shiny object syndrome comes in.

And then I’m just like, well, what has worked for you? Where did your client or customers come in from before? Just repeat that.

Yeah, I totally have shiny syndrome. I’m always like, oh, let’s try that. We all have this syndrome.

It’s so fun. I tell my staff like, remind me, do not let myself get distracted.

That’s funny. Yes. So you mentioned the founders circle.

What else would you say was the best investment you’ve made for your business?

Find things you’re not good at and hire those people. So I am not good at customer service because I’m a problem solver. So like someone told me they needed help.

I would just solve the problem instead of saying like, how are you? Let me help you. So I’m like not kind enough to be a customer service rep.

So that was one of my first hires. For me, knowing your finances is so important. So hiring someone over finance was my one of my best decisions.

So still hire and delegate and stop doing everything yourself, right?

Yes, that would be my advice.

Yeah, you got to be loving what you do. Okay, so there might be some low days. And on those low days, what quote do you think of that gets you through the day?

Well, a quote my parents always said that I really like is when I do good, I feel good. And when I don’t, this is their own rendition of Abraham Lincoln quote, but they changed it a tiny bit. So it’s when I do good, I feel good.

And when I don’t do good, I don’t feel good. And I’ve lived long enough that I know that I want to feel good. So I know when I do good, and I’m kind and I put things out to people that I feel good.

And ultimately, that’s what I want.

I love that. I want to feel good. And I want to do good, too.

Yeah, I think I’m really passionate about like, the education and prevention of flossing. And that is like, I could just share our knowledge with everyone. I just feel like the world would be a better place.

And so that’s one of my goals is to change people’s oral health habits because of my passion for it.

That’s beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us. And if you’ve enjoyed this episode, and you haven’t tried yet, just check out Slate.

It’s S-L-A-T-E. And it’s an electric flosser. And I’m a personal user of it.

So love it. Thank you for being with us.

So much for having me. And I hope that every person listening to this knows that you are amazing. You are capable.

Tell yourself that and do what you want to do.

Yes, yes, so much. Yes. Thank you.

Thank you.

In this episode Lucy shares something that is key to more confidence and completely transformed her life, decision so firm that once made everything shifted and it has the power to transform your life as well and that decision is to stop self betrayal.

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Hey there, beautiful souls! Welcome back to The Lucy Liu Show, the space where we cultivate confidence, joy, and unshakable self-belief. I’m LL, your host, life coach, and biggest cheerleader on your journey to becoming the most aligned and empowered version of yourself.

How many times have you said “yes” when your heart screamed “no”? 

How often have you silenced your true desires to make others comfortable? 

How many times have you abandoned yourself to fit in, to be liked, to avoid rocking the boat?

I’ve been there. For years, I ignored my inner voice. I said yes to opportunities that didn’t align. I stayed quiet when I wanted to speak. I allowed fear to keep me small, choosing external validation over my own truth. And let me tell you—every time I betrayed myself, I chipped away at my confidence.

Then one day, I made the choice.

I decided that from that moment on, I would honor myself fully. 

No more people-pleasing at the expense of my own peace. 

No more shrinking to fit spaces I outgrown. 

No more betraying the deepest parts of myself.

And here’s the truth: when you stop betraying yourself, everything changes.

When you commit to honoring yourself, you start to attract the right people and the right opportunities—ones that align with who you truly are. 

Your confidence grows because you know you’re standing in your truth. Your joy expands because you’re no longer suppressing your desires. You create a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good on the outside.

This is not about being selfish. This is about self-respect. It’s about understanding that you deserve the same love and honesty that you gave to others. It’s about realizing that betraying yourself never serves anyone in the long run.

So, how do we break the cycle?

Here are three powerful steps:

1. Tune into Your Inner Voice – Start listening to what your heart is telling you. Before you agree to something, pause. Ask yourself, “Is this a true yes for me?”
2. Set Boundaries Without Guilt – Boundaries are the ultimate form of self-respect. Learn to say no when needed. Saying no to what drains you is saying yes to what truly fulfills you.
3. Choose Yourself Daily – This is a practice. Every day, in small ways, choose yourself. Whether it’s speaking up, resting when you need to, or pursuing your dreams unapologetically—honor your truth. I am my top priority. My needs deserve to be met. 

Beautiful soul, you were not put on this earth to live a life of quiet compromise. Yes you can be quiet and confident. You don’t need to speak up when you are perfectly content. But if you ever feel you are suppressing yourself in any way, then remember that you were meant to shine, to take up space, to stand in your power. And that begins with this one decision: Never betray yourself again.

I want to challenge you—today, right now—to make this commitment.

Say it with me: “I choose to honor myself. I choose to listen to my inner voice. I choose me.” Because when you do, you unlock a level of freedom, confidence, and joy that is truly life-changing.

If this episode spoke to you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Send me a message, share this with another woman who needs to hear it, and let’s keep this conversation going. And if you haven’t already, don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review—it helps this message reach more amazing souls like you.

Until next time, remember: You are worthy. You are powerful. And you deserve to live a life that honors YOU.

Sending you all my love and light. Talk soon!

This episode is for you if you are an owner, leader, creative, or healer wanting to embrace your magic, make powerful decisions, and thrive—without sacrificing your energy.

Elysia Skye is an intuitive business coach, speaker, award-winning video producer and host of The Brilliance Method Podcast

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Hello, my friend, this episode is for you if you are an owner, leader, creative or healer, wanting to embrace your magic, make powerful decisions and thrive without sacrificing your energy. 

Doesn’t that sound amazing? And for this special reason, I have my guest today, Elysia Skye.

She is a intuitive business coach, speaker, award winning video producer and host of the brilliance method podcast. Welcome to the show. Hi, Lucy.

Thank you. Good to see you. 

Good to see you again.

Yes, I’m having so much fun here because it’s so fun when we chat. We are both intuitives. I trust my intuition all the time.

So many business owners or leaders actually rely only on logic or strategy. How can they start trusting their intuition more in decision making?

Wow. I mean, I feel like this is something you and I talk about a lot. And when we recognize that our intuition is just as real as any other sense that we have, just how we hear, we see, we feel, we taste, we touch.

Our intuition was given to us in our body and in our energy field to help guide us to actually make decisions. That’s what it’s for. And it uses our body as a barometer so that we know if something feels off or not.

So it’s essential to connect to your body and to connect to your feelings, which I understand is somewhat of a struggle for a lot of people, especially business owners who are used to being in positions of power. 

It might seem counterintuitive to tap into your sensitivity, but actually your sensitivity is a superpower. And there’s ways you can do that that doesn’t feel overly emasculating or overly feminine if that’s not your goal either.

So we can get into that. But truly, it’s about connecting with your body.

I love it. I don’t know. Maybe it’s a little bit for some, but for us, we believe in embracing our magic and we believe in our magic and power.

Right. What does it mean to you to embrace your magic?

I love this question. So magic is what we cannot see, but what we believe. And some people might call it faith or some people call it manifestation, but we believe it and we can’t see it.

But what actually happens is we believe it until we see it, right? We believe it until it comes through and then we know for sure it’s there. So the point is we keep believing in it and we keep focusing on it until it actually comes to life.

But it might seem contradictory. But the truth is, if you know that it’s going to come to life, you have to keep believing in it even if you don’t see it yet. Right.

So it’s like it’s almost cyclical or circular. But when we create magic in our life and we all have the ability to do that, we can’t just wish for something or manifest something. And then when we get a sign that it happens, then forget about it.

Right. I’ll give you a quick example. If you’re going to buy a house and you find your dream home and you’re like, oh, I’m going to put all my magic and all my energy and all my manifestation into getting this dream home, then maybe the seller accepts your offer.

Don’t stop believing in it then. I encourage you to see yourself walking into the home for the inspection, signing the papers, getting the keys, setting up your furniture, enjoying your first meal there. Right.

Take that magic all the way through till you can’t even imagine it anymore. And that is how we cultivate more magic into our life.

Can you share another story maybe from a client who is a leader who fully stepped into their intuitive power and saw massive growth in their career or business?

Wow, I have I have so many examples for that, but perhaps I’ll shine a light on my client and now my dear friend Megs Thompson. 

So Megs is a ghostwriter, a she calls herself a word twerker, a book doula. She’s a publisher.

She is magic. And when I first met her, she wanted to live in a different location. She wanted to move from a different state.

She wasn’t yet a publisher, but she had these thoughts. She had these dreams. And then there was a decision to actually make it happen.

And I think that’s the biggest shift for most people. And for Megs, when she decided, I’m going to leave Washington and I’m going to move to Montana, like she decided, right, Lucy, and there’s so much power in the decision. And when we make the decision, our life starts to show up for us.

So now she lives in Montana. She’s published dozens of authors. She is a very successful publisher and ghostwriter.

Like her whole world changed her income. Like I think at certain points, quadrupled. I remember the first time she messaged me, she’s like, I had a $5,000 day today.

Right. And then it turned out I had a $20,000 day today. And it’s like, it’s magical.

And it’s not so much about the money. Is it her seeing, oh my gosh, this is real. And I can help so many more people now that I’ve stepped into my light and I know who I am and I know what I offer.

And I’m not afraid to share that with the world. And gosh, she’s helped so many people create their stories and share their stories. And her company is called In Omnia Parata Publishing.

And I’m just so proud of her. And through each and every step of the way, she used her body as a barometer, like I said, right. Making a decision.

Is this the right house for me? What do I want to name my publishing company? Can I be a publisher?

How can an independent person, an independent company publish multiple books and get them into worldwide distribution, not just on Amazon? But she listened. She said yes, when it felt right.

She said no, when it didn’t feel right. And she has the tools now to continue doing that. And her success just keeps growing and growing.

And the keyword I hear is decisions. Decisions, decisions, decisions. I’m all about making fast decisions because when you’re ready, it’s a decision.

If you’re good enough or not, it’s your decision, right? Where is your next move? What is your next move?

They are all decisions that you get to make.

Yeah, you’re right. And on that note, truly, I believe, and not everybody likes when I say this, but we choose how we feel. And maybe at first, if you’re having a reaction, you want to make a decision, you want to listen to your intuition, and maybe you get a feeling that’s not so great, right?

Well, two things, two sides of that coin. One, listening to your intuition doesn’t always feel great. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, and I knew that I had cancer, knowing that I had cancer when I was 24, that wasn’t an awesome feeling.

That wasn’t a fun feeling. But I still felt that same peace in my body that I feel in my heart center when I have that intuition. And the second thing is when we react, and this is where people get kind of mad at me.

But it’s okay, I stand by it. When we react, maybe we don’t think in that moment, we made that decision to express that feeling that we had that choice. But the truth is we do.

And the more we practice mindful living and truly being present in the moment, we could slow down the time it takes for our brain to send a signal to our heart to fluster and then our mouth to say things we don’t want to say. And I promise, it’s a muscle, you build it, you get better and better, faster and faster until you go, I feel that, I don’t like that. Maybe I shouldn’t say that right now.

Maybe instead I should speak from this place, right? Which also will include boundaries and speaking up for yourself, that’s all good. But I have found that the transmutation of anger, filtering it, feeling it fully, processing it, not burying it, that’s not healthy, but transmuting it to go, okay, I feel it, I feel it fully.

Now I’m safe to express what it is I want to say so that I can be heard. 

Because we all just want to be heard. We’re all just crying out for love.

And we have a choice in how we respond. We have a choice in how we feel. We do.

Great points. Thank you for sharing. But when someone is faced with tough decisions, how can leaders distinguish between fear and intuition?

That’s a great question. So when we are not sure if it’s our head, which I think is where all that fear lives. Fear is usually because we’re overthinking something.

Now, granted, we do have that fear instinct in us. In caveman days, you see a dinosaur or a tiger, you run. That’s built in, it’s connected to our ego so that we can survive.

The ego cannot survive without a body, or I believe the spirit or the soul can. So that conversation of fear versus intuition, who are you putting in charge? Your ego or your spirit?

So coming back to that, if you’re overthinking something, like you’ve thought it, you’ve thought it, you’ve thought it to death, you’re in your head. When we truly know something, like I mentioned before, we’re dropped into our heart center. Even if it’s an unhappy feeling, or even if it’s bad news, there’s still a peaceful knowing that, all right, just got to do the damn thing, right?

And it’s a stillness, Lucy, where fear feels frenetic and chaotic. Intuition is still, it’s mindful, it’s peaceful. So if you’re in fear mode, and you’re overthinking, and you’re worried, or you’re anxious, or you’re panicked, or even if you’re depressed, which can feel a lot slower than anxiety, if you could remember in the moment, in this moment, I am safe, and just take a breath.

And sometimes it’s hard to remember that. But like I said, it’s practice, right? It’s practice, you build the muscle, maybe you get a tattoo or a bracelet or something to remember, in this moment, I’m safe.

Breathe, drop in, and then make the decision from that calm place. And I promise you, even if it feels annoying to take your time, you will have better results, and you will make less mistakes when you’ve made decisions from a place of intuition, clarity, and peace.

Beautifully said. 

But that place of peace comes from practices of grounding yourself, right? Like rituals of meditation of whatever modality that suits your boat, rocks your boat, right?

For me, what really helped is gratitude journaling and to make more powerful, fast decisions. Having that confidence to trust my intuition. I also add on top of that writing also my win of the day, even if it’s just one win, you feel like a winner.

How about you? What are some exercises or rituals you do to strengthen that decision making confidence muscle?

Well, I know, you know, you’re such a you’re such a confidence leader, truly, you know, if anybody wants to really learn how to build their confidence, you’re such a great model for that. 

So I also do wins. And the reason why and I’ll add a bit more to this, but when we focus on what’s working, when we focus on what’s going well, we can actually do more of that if we stay stuck focusing on what didn’t work out, like the not wins, the fails, the try agains, right?

The startovers, if we stay there, stay there, stay there, then we start beating ourself up, self doubt comes in our confidence, our self assurance gets rocked. So it is critical to share your wins. We do that in my coaching program.

Every week we share our wins, even not when we’re on the calls in our group, we share our wins. And also with gratitude. I write what I’m grateful for.

But then I write three reasons why. And the human brain wants to know why, when we understand why we feel a deeper connection to the purpose, and then we do more of it, including the gratitude journaling. 

And I also have a grounding meditation that I do every single day that I lead my clients through.

And in being grounded to the earth, there’s a couple little processes. One, we ground, we imagine this grounding cord, it might be a tree trunk or a waterfall or beam of light, if you’re a little kid doing it, or you want to do it with your kids, maybe have them visualize a crayon or an ice cream cone or a pencil, right?

 And you visualize it all the way down to the center of the earth, that hot, beautiful core of the earth where there’s a crystal that’s all yours.

And that crystals only job is to receive what you’re letting go of. And again, this sounds woo woo and out there, but it helps to just intentionally let go of what’s no longer serving you. I release anything that’s in my way, any fears, any doubts, any worries, any limiting beliefs down my grounding cord.

And I visualize them, Lucy, I see them, whether it’s a picture or a movie, or sometimes a color or a shape. And I use my breath to release them and let them go. And once we’ve ground, we have to replenish.

Once we’ve let go, right? If we’ve exhaled, we’ve got to inhale. And our very first breath we take as a baby is an inhale, right?

So we start by receiving. So that’s what you do when you get into meditation. You breathe in and you receive, but you let go.

So then don’t forget after you ground, you want to replenish. You want to call all that energy back. Anything you’ve left in other places with other people, caretaking, worrying, spreading yourself too thin, even good situations.

You’re visiting a parent recently and you want them to feel loved, right? But you can put a magnet right in your heart and just call all your energy back, trusting and knowing everyone has enough of their own energy to take care of themselves. And then you breathe that in, you breathe it in and you receive it and you set your intention.

I’m a big fan of setting intentions.

Me too. Just listening to you earlier. Oh, feels amazing.

Thanks, love. Oh, well, I’m all about making bold moves. I know you are too.

So how do you help your clients navigate self-doubt?

Well, when we know who we are and why we’re here, like what our Dharma is, what our purpose is, the self-doubt shows up. It kind of always does once in a while, but the gravity of it lessens over time when we become stronger and stronger in who we are and why we do what we do. Anything we’re creating, right?

Whether it’s our business, our art or our family, it’s always important to go back to the why, because it’s hard work and we can get really tired. 

And when you’re tired and you need a break, but you have to keep going, it’s good to come back to your why. And sometimes when I’m tired or, you know, every once in a while, maybe there’s a conflict, right?

Or even a client that wants something more than I can provide or whatever it might be. I go back to my why. And that’s where visualization comes back in.

I have over to the side here, I’m looking off to the side. I have images of chimpanzees hugging each other. I have pictures of me and my husband traveling around the world.

Just things that really drive me. There’s an organization called Drop in the Bucket that $100 puts wells and water in a home for families in Africa. $20,000 will put a well in an entire school, right?

But I want to be clear. I don’t want you to focus on charitable or altruistic things over yourself. Please always start from within.

Why does this matter to you? Why does it help you to feel impactful, purposeful, significant that you’re contributing, that you’re making a difference, whether it’s in your community and your business with your clients, or most importantly at home in your family life or with your close friends. And then we look at who else do we care about?

What’s my legacy? What’s my impact, right? So when we’re feeling all that self-doubt, how much of what you’re doing is really about you, right?

The beginning, it is, right? Entrepreneurship, there’s a lot of shadow work. There’s a lot of self-work, but when we hit it, right?

When we’re millionaires, multimillionaires, when we have more than we need, even if it’s only, you know, hundreds of thousands, which is still a lot of money, there’s people you can help. There’s animals you can help. There’s organizations you can help.

And that’s really important to me. Whenever I work with anyone, even when you remember, you filled out the thing to be on my podcast and I said, what charity should I donate to on your behalf for you being on my show, right? I take this work so seriously, Lucy, that there’s so much in the world that’s bigger than us, but that doesn’t mean we’re not important.

It doesn’t mean we don’t matter. We do matter. 

Everyone who is listening or watching this right now, you are worthy and deserving of a happy life.

And as you remember that you matter and you reconnect to your why, you won’t keep falling off. And then you’ll get to contribute to the organizations that you know are moving the needle forward. And that truly has helped a lot of people from going and starting 10 more nonprofits.

Of course, we all need more nonprofits, but maybe the one you want to start has already been started. So you can build your business, sharing your genius, and then donate to someone else’s, right?

Beautiful, beautiful story.

But you know what, have you come to see a situation where intuition actually contradicts traditional business advice?

A hundred percent. Always, right? 

Always.

So when someone is scaling a business, they will look to a mentor or a business coach who has the results that they want. And those are usually monetary results.

So strategies will point to, and all of the online gurus will point to, well, you need to, I’ll give an example, build your email list and you do that through doing a free webinar. And then your webinar takes you to a sales funnel and then your sales funnel has an upcharge. And then by then you get them into your program, your head’s spinning, right?

And all of this, you either got to run ads, you got to do organic social media. You have to, you have to, you have to, right? So traditional marketing, advertising, scaling tells us we have to, we have to, we have to.

But I have seen so many successful multi-millionaire business owners scale and grow their businesses strictly through referral, strictly through word of mouth. And their intuition comes up and says, okay, I get that I’m supposed to do all these steps, but that doesn’t feel good to me. Right?

Some people, they love it. They’re like, I love all that stuff. I love all the tech.

I love all the building and the webinars and the things I actually kind of do, but I love both. So if your intuition is like, no, something about this doesn’t feel like me, I’m going to feel like a fake. I’m going to feel like an imposter.

I’m going to feel like I’m trying to swindle people, right? Well, first of all, you’re magic. You’re amazing.

You have something brilliant to offer. And there’s a lot of people who are paying attention to what’s happening online and they will benefit from seeing and hearing more from you. But with that aside, if your intuition says, you know what?

I need to be speaking on stages. That’s how I want to get people here. Maybe your intuition says, I want to go be a guest on podcasts.

That’s going to bring more people to me, right? Do what you feel motivated and inspired to do. And one of the reasons I reached out to you, Lucy, is because I love this.

I love what we’re doing right here, right now. And look, I’ve got my own workshop coming up at the end of the month, right? And there’s going to be plenty of people there who will align with my message who say yes, but here’s an opportunity for me to get to be in front of your audience and share from my heart to inspire and motivate them.

So long story short, just because there are traditional strategies that work for a lot of people doesn’t mean that’s what’s right for you, your energetic imprint and the way that you like to do business. And that’s okay. Every methodology works.

You don’t have to do one way just because you saw someone be successful doing it. Follow your heart.

I love it so much. I always say every guru is right. It’s just not right.

You just have to find out what is right for you. And for me, I always trust my intuition and I make the decision that I do everything for fun. So my top priority is fun.

So when I’m having fun, I’m provide I’m able to provide more value, I can create free, fun content, and people can get value out of that while I’m having fun, because then I wouldn’t be exhausted, I wouldn’t burn out and people actually benefit more that I have my energetic boundaries, right?

Yes. And so like, if you look at okay, the I’ll have what she’s having, I want the results that this person has, if your result is fun, and you have a happy, fun life in your family, and like, I know a little bit about you and your life and your background, and people want that they want your confidence, they want your joy, they want your fun, they want your optimism, like, none of that has anything to do with how much money you might have, right? And maybe that’s a beautiful side effect, too. So if your result is fun, have more fun, and having fun, and then they’ll start having fun.

It’s like, if you start laughing, you’re seeing those videos of someone who just starts laughing on a subway or something, and then other people just start laughing. And then the whole train is laughing. And then we don’t even know why now we’re just having fun.

I know. And there’s actually no right or wrong. I mean, yeah, you talked about coaches, you know, telling you all these strategies.

But I actually talked to a friend who speaks to her life coach on a regular landline phone. And she says her coach only does coaching on landline phones. So there’s no right or wrong way to do certain things.

Mm hmm. Yeah, my energy healer who I work with, we’re not allowed to use headphones, we’re not allowed to use speaker, like there’s just people have different frequencies that help them to feel more aligned. And that don’t mess with their energy.

And like, look, there’s a bunch of people making billions of dollars on zoom. But that’s not what’s what’s working for that life coach or my energy healer, right?

Perfectly said. Awesome. Awesome.

Well, in your days running your business, what is a favorite quote that you go by?

Oh, well, my quote that I live and breathe by is be the lighthouse, not the lifesaver. You may have heard a lot of people say be the lighthouse, right? shine by example, lead by example.

And that’s wonderful. But we also want to remember, well, when we are doing something, what is it we don’t want to do? Right?

I heard a beautiful quote this morning that says don’t focus on what you want or what you don’t want focus on what you’re willing to do, and what you’re not willing to do, right? And I used to be a lifesaver. Lucy, I would jump into that cold, dark water with the freezing ocean and the sharks and people screaming and pushing you down under the water.

Like I thought it was my job to go in and fix and save everybody. And that was exhausting. It was debilitating.

It was really hard and horrible on my relationships romantically and in my family and my friends. And it wasn’t until my wedding day. My sister was my maid of honor.

And she gave a speech and she said I knew Kalen, my husband, I knew he was the one because you weren’t trying to fix him or save him. You just let him be who he is, right? So when we look at be the lighthouse, not the lifesaver, you truly can make that decision.

Right then and there. Do I want to stand tall and strong on the shore and shine my beacon of light for someone to find their way, gather their strength, swim a little harder, and then stand tall and strong and shine just as bright as me? Or do I want to go in the water and drown with them?

And I’m done going in the water and drowning.

Beautifully said. Thank you so much for all your wisdom and being here with us. Where can we check out your work at?

Oh, thank you. So Elysiaskye.com. E-L-Y-S-I-A-S-K-Y-E.

There’s an E at the end of sky. Don’t forget that. That’s my social media handle everywhere, my LinkedIn handle, and of course the Brilliance Method podcast, which you can find on Elysiaskye.com/podcast . It is a video podcast as well as audio. And my coaching membership is the Brilliance Method Emerald Collective. It’s a very inexpensive membership where you get to work with me every single week, and it’s a lot of fun.

And I truly am here to help you get out of your own way and shine your light as bright as you can.

Well, thank you for shining.

Thank you for shining. Here we go. Let’s keep shining.

In this quick 5 min solo talk, Lucy inspires about something that truly changed her life and has the power to shift your perspective on life and transform your life as well, and that is: Everything is temporary.

Tune in for a quick dose of inspiration.

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WATCH THE EPISODE

Today, I want to talk about something that truly changed my life and has the power to shift your perspective on life and transform your life, and that is: Everything is temporary.

I know that might sound like anxiety at first. But stay with me, because I believe this truth can be one of THE most important THE most empowering realizations we can have.

Welcome back to The Lucy Liu Show, the space where we cultivate confidence, joy, and purpose. I’m your host LL, and let’s talk about this. 

Everything we experience — our emotions, our struggles, our successes, and even our very existence, our life — is temporary. And while that might seem intimidating at first, it’s actually an invitation to live more fully and freely.

Think about the tough moments in your life. When was the last time you experienced a heartbreak, loss, failure of some sort, or self-doubt. Remember how at that time, they felt extremely overwhelming, like they would last forever. But the truth is they didn’t. You moved through them. You healed. You grew. 

And just as the hard times are temporary, so are the beautiful moments. The laughter, the deep connections, the victories—this doesn’t mean we should fear their impermanence. It just means we should cherish them more. Be more present. Soak each moment in.

When we embrace the temporary nature of everything, we free ourselves from fear. We stop clinging so tightly to things we can not control. We take more chances, we speak up, we love more deeply, and we show up for ourselves in ways we never have before.

I want to challenge you today—take one step forward, however small, take one small step forward toward something that matters to you. Doesn’t matter what it is.

Oh but be careful for one thing though while you are moving forward, what you say to yourself is permanent! The negative things you say to put yourself down might have a permanent effect on your self esteem. The negative self talk going on inside of your head may affect you not just temporarily. So because now that you’ve learned that everything in life is temporary, be very aware of what you say to yourself after circumstances happen. 

So, let me ask you this: 

What would you do differently today if you truly accepted that nothing lasts forever?

Would you stop holding yourself back from taking that next step in your journey? 

Would you forgive yourself a little faster? 

Would you finally start that project, business, or conversation you’ve been putting off?

Don’t wait for the perfect time. The perfect time is now.

And if this episode resonated with you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Send me a message, share this episode with a friend, or take a screenshot and tag me on social media @mslucyliu . 

Let’s remind each other that every season—good or bad—is just that: a season.

Thank you for spending this time with me today. If you haven’t already, make sure to subscribe so you don’t miss the next episode. 

Until next time, keep embracing confidence, cultivate joy, and live fully—because this moment? 

It’s temporary, and it’s beautiful.

Hello my friend, Networking is the key to unlocking opportunities, building meaningful relationships, and accelerating your personal and professional growth. This episode is for you if you find networking intimidating and wish to learn how to better network like a pro with more confidence and more purpose for growth.

And for this exact reason, I have my special guest with me today Emily Merrell. Emily is a networking strategist, business coach, community builder and podcast host to two podcasts actually, the Ready Set Coach Podcast and The Second Degree Podcast. 

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WATCH THE EPISODE

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Hello, my friend, networking is the key to unlocking opportunities, building meaningful relationships and accelerating your personal and professional growth. So this episode is for you if you find networking intimidating sometimes and wish to learn how to better network like a pro with more confidence and more purpose for growth. And for this exact reason, I have my special guest with me today, Emily Merrell.

Emily is a networking strategist, business coach, community builder and podcast host of two podcasts, actually, the ready set coach podcast and the second degree podcast. Welcome to the show, Emily. 

Thank you so much for having me.

It’s so fun to be in the interview ease seat, especially with people we’ve hugged in real life, right? And it was a lot warmer the last time I saw you in Palm Springs, 12 degrees here today in Denver.

It is really cold in LA to contrary to the sunny California, we have rain today. But let’s talk about networking. So many people find networking intimidating or scary, whether you’re introverted or extroverted, right?

So you are the go to person for networking. So how can someone shift their mindset to make it feel more natural?

Well, I just want to I want to reaffirm that if you are super extroverted, and super introverted, networking is to your point, it can be intimidating, and it can be awkward, and it can be overwhelming. And even as a professional networker, I feel those feelings as well. So as someone who has met 1000s and 1000s of people, those nerves still creep up on you of walking into a room full of strangers.

So one of my favorite things about thinking about networking is gamifying networking, like can you have a game plan when you walk into networking? And I think backing up even a little before that is so many people go to a networking event, and they say, Hey, Lucy, will you come to this networking event with me. And that’s a huge mistake.

Because Lucy, if you and I went to a networking event together, you and I would be in the corner gabbing it up, basically using our body language to close off inviting people to talk to us, because we’re so excited to catch up. So the first thing to think about is a networking event isn’t a chance to go hang out with a friend event. This is a chance to meet new people event.

So I highly recommend going alone, even though that can sound like your worst nightmare walking into a room full of strangers by yourself. Number two is make yourself approachable. So Lucy right now is wearing this beautiful red turtleneck.

And if I was at a networking event with her, I would be gravitated to the color that she is wearing kind of like a moth to a flame, I would probably approach her. And if I wanted to strike up a conversation with her, I would actually go for your jugular here, Lucy, where I would ask you, I would be like, I love that turtleneck. Like, where did you get something so vibrant.

So being able to wear something that is also attracting people to you is a great, great, great tip when walking into a room full of strangers. So in those circumstances, I typically recommend like fun earrings, if you’re an earring wearer, maybe some like creative glasses, I usually like to rock a bold red lip, it’s always an attention grabber and a conversation starter. So again, people can humanize you and you can start on a connection or a networking without it being so what do you do.

And then the last tip I will say is again, gamification, can you give yourself the expectation that you’re like, I’m going to meet two people and I’m going to get their contact info and that is going to be a success for me. So you have like a low bar of entry. And then if you walk out that night, and you’ve got like nine new friends or connections, then you really, really overdid yourself in one.

So again, wearing something colorful, so people come to you paying attention to going alone, looking at other people and what they’re wearing, so they’re easy to approach. And then giving yourself a goal of a connection of one or two people.

I’m like nodding my head left and right the whole time as you spoke, because I actually did a prior episode on why you should go to events alone, because I love going to events alone, like you talked about that forces you to make new connections and not just play catch up with your friend.

I have a networking event tonight, none of my friends are going. I am meeting my friends for dinner after my networking event. We have two different experiences happening in one day.

Beautiful. I’m a big believer that confidence is not about decibels. I am introverted, I can be the introvert in the room and still be confident.

How about you, Emily? How do you think introverts or more quieter people can thrive in a networking event without feeling like they have to be loud?

Oh, I love that question. I’ll just share it. My sister is exact opposite of me.

She is an introvert, but she loves being with people. And so the way that she’s able to show her love and bring people together, she loves hosting events. So I think for an introvert, a great tool or technique for you is to be in charge of planning the event or bringing the people together.

And even myself, who’s wildly, wildly extroverted. I love being the host of an event because then I could say, Hey, Lucy, why don’t you meet Sally? You guys are both from LA.

You’re both incredible coaches. I’m going to let you guys hit it off and then you can walk away. So you can be a facilitator of generosity of connection, but not be caught up in the small talk of having to hear someone’s life story.

Like a silent sniper type of thing where you’re again, bringing the people together. I also find as an introvert, but I have my introversion to me being in control of a situation gives an introvert less anxiety. So then they know when the event starts and when the event ends and what’s going to happen next versus walking in into an unknown.

And while that’s not the case, obviously for every introvert, I think also understanding like the play of the night or the agenda of the night is really helpful in your own managing your own anxiety and your energy, especially as an introvert, you have to be cognizant of not burning out too fast. So one of the mantras that I always have is when in motion, stay in motion. So for example, if you’re an introvert and it takes you a lot to get those batteries recharged to commit to coming to an event, make that a day where you are showering first thing in the morning, you are putting makeup on, you’re maybe working from a coffee shop.

So you’ve already left your house. And so you don’t have an excuse to bail on the event that night. So then that way too, you’ve already kind of like taken the steps that lead you to the event or networking experience you’re going to be participating in.

Perfectly said.

What are some of the common mistakes you’ve seen people make at networking events?

How much time do we have? Okay, my favorite mistake, my favorite mistake is calling people by the wrong name the whole night. I have seen that many times and it cracks me up more than makes me cringe.

But the biggest mistake I see is if walking into a room, they have like their glass of wine, they saunter up to a conversation, they look at you and they’re like, so what do you do, Emily? And I’m choking on a little Frank or something like that. I’m like, oh, cool.

That’s just not how I, my brain wasn’t there yet. I’m still warming up. So I think going right out of the gate with what do you do is just not always the best approach, especially for those introverts or people who aren’t accustomed to talking to themselves.

So I’ll add, if you want to know what someone does, there’s ways to, to get that out of them without strategic, without straightforwardly asking, what do you do? It could be like, are you in the film industry? If it’s a film networking event, you know, you can kind of read the cues.

Another thing too, is straight up pitching yourself and going up and being like, Hey, Lucy, you’re a coach. That means you probably want to invest in a new platform for da da da da da. Here’s my card.

I think we should hop on a and you’re just like taken aback by being sold to immediately. So tone down the selling. Remember that there’s an essence of give and take the last thing too.

I think networking is a lot like dating and we’ve all been on bad dates before where the date only talks about themselves. So remember to ask questions of others and ask questions that also allow you to drop in little nuggets about yourself. So you can ask a question that also has a relatable opportunity for you to pop in.

So those are my big three that really unsettled me.

They’re all so good. I do want to add one more is making it all about yourself. And I think this is the reason why people get intimidated of going to, because they’re, they’re so conscious about themselves.

They’re so conscious about what other people will think of themselves. So I always really preach that go in with the intention of adding value to someone else’s life in any way possible. And that way you’re focusing on the bigger picture, right?

You’re not just focusing on yourself, because when you focus on yourself, you tend to shrink 1000% and you’ll be more memorable.

You remember those conversations of the people who make you feel shiny versus the person who is just monologuing about their, their journey into X, Y, and Z. I do want to add with that too, on that being, oh my gosh, my brain is like going in and out of thoughts sometimes. But that feeling of when you walk into a network, networking event, body language, really big mistake is people aren’t paying attention to their body language.

So for example, like if you have your arms crossed and your shoulders are hunched by your ears, you’re telling me subconsciously, like go away. And if you’re on your phone, like, I think a lot of people make this mistake of self-importance. So they’re on their phone and they’re like, and you know, they’re kind of half listening again.

I don’t want to talk to you. So be cognizant of like how your shoulders are, how your body and your arms are, um, where your eye contact is because otherwise you might be subconsciously repulsive.

Beautifully said. You want to make a good lasting impression, especially the first impression when you meet someone new, right? I love the phone tip too.

I usually have my phone in my purse the whole time during an event. I don’t play with my phone because you’re there for the in-person connection. So make sure you’re actually being present, right?

And the only time I recommend people bring out their phone is if they don’t have business cards and they need to connect with someone and they can use, you can open the email app and pop in the person’s email and send them a quick, quick note. But yeah, to your point, put it away. Or the other thing too, I’ll say, um, like on my cover of my phone, I have a picture of my family.

You could use your phone as a tool of connectivity. So if you are like sitting at a high boy table and you’ve got your phone out and you’ve got that picture and you’re struggling to make conversation with someone else, you’d be like, Lucy, is that your dog? He’s so cute.

And it’s a good jumping off point.

What a good tip. Okay. So we’re at this networking event, but not everyone might be good for our professional growth.

Would you say you recommend networking with everyone or only identify the right people to network with? 

It’s so funny.

I hate when people are like the right people, what defines right? Um, because that person might, I have met people who become attended my wedding, have become strong friends, have, have influenced my life in significant ways that had nothing to do with my career. So you, that hypothesis of right and wrong definitely is, it can hinder people when, when making connections.

So the way that I always like to approach it is, um, I do friend first and kind of see if we’re going to be friends and you can, you can vibe off the person. You can see if they’re on the same page as you. So oftentimes, like sometimes I’ll connect with someone and we have nothing in common in our jobs.

Maybe they’re a lawyer and I don’t know, they do patents and I’m just not in that world at all. Nor do I know anyone, but a that’s in my, the back of my brain for the future, because Lucy comes to me and she patented a new lotion that’s going to change the world. So a, I have that connection that I can give Lucy and be this girl is also obsessed with soul cycle and I’m obsessed with soul cycle.

So now I have a soul cycle buddy. And again, that ROI on a connection isn’t measured in me making money off of her, but it’s me making a deepening friendship that can lead to other life opportunities. So in the sense of energy, you don’t want to go and pray and spray on every single person there.

Uh, so again, going with that goal of connecting, doing a good connection with two or three people is really, really important. And in my brain, I start a little clock. I have like a 15 minute little timer that goes off in my brain.

And I’m like, Lucy, we are vibing. We are going to be hanging out when I’m in LA next. So at the end of that 15 minute clock in your brain part ways, because you are going to have so much more Lucy in the future.

And you know that for a fact, but then the next person you meet, maybe you never need to, or want to see again, but they are still human and you are still human. And you give them that 15 minutes of your time and have a mediocre conversation, and then you can part ways and go to the next person. Do you follow up with people then afterwards?

So I like to follow up in the moment. Um, so that’s where, you know, years ago I went to an event that took like a hundred of my business cards and I just started my business and was like, this is so annoying. They’re so expensive just to be thrown away.

And so from that point on, I started differentiating myself by creating, I created pop sockets that I’d give people. Um, and so then they had, it was branded and they could put it on their phone. Or the other thing that I did was I would grab their phone and I would put my email in it.

And then the connection that we had and like what we talked about, and I’d send myself an email from their phone. So then the next day it’s in my inbox, basically a running to-do list of all of these people that I met. And, you know, maybe it was, we were talking about dog food to recommendations, or maybe it was talking about looking for a new accountant.

So I had that follow-up action item in my to-do for the next day.

Great tip. I remember when we first met, you sent me an email the second day too. Right?

Yeah. You’re such a great connector. You’re good at referrals, connecting people, whether that’s virtual or online, because you, you are confident that you have something to provide value to others.

And I think that’s, that’s where confidence comes from is knowing that I have value, my self-worth is there. By knowing me, I’m going to provide you value, right? But what about for some, some people who are experiencing self-doubt, they, maybe they don’t feel they have much to offer.

Maybe they feel like they’re only in the beginning of their journey, or they’re not quite there yet because there’s always something else to improve, right? What are some ways to provide value in a networking relationship in such situation when you don’t feel like you have much to offer?

That’s such an insightful question, or interesting question to think about. I think we all have value. So you definitely have to seek out that value.

And while it might not feel as transactional as I have a good accountant for you to meet, there typically is something that you can give. And I do a lot of mentoring with college grads or recent or college seniors. And one of the things that the next generation has that we don’t have is they, they just know how to do tech so much better in so many ways.

So even offering to help with setting up a Canva or doing something with social media or something I’ve seen before at these events, I’ll bring up like I’m traveling and I’m looking for a dog sitter. And they’re like, I love dogs. I would love to dog sit for you, or my neighbor dog sits, you know, it doesn’t have to be related to your, your occupation to be valuable and to pour into the person.

And then same thing, it could be a recommendation. I need a new nail place. It could be, I’m looking for a new restaurant.

Like we all have something to give. It’s just remembering that, you know, more than you think, you know, in all of the things. And then I think the other thing too, is asking the question.

And as someone who likes to give more than take, this is a hard question for me to ask or ask upon myself, but how can I help you? Or like, in which ways are you struggling? Where do you need help the most?

And you know, it’s hard for me to be like, I’m usually like, I’m good. Thanks. Let’s do it about you.

But what is that flag that you want to fly? And so when someone does ask you that question, you can tap into it.

Thank you. What about when someone you want to network with is with a higher profile? Like what’s your advice for handling imposter syndrome when we’re trying to network with high profile individuals?

Pretend you don’t know that they’re hiring. A perfect example of this, or try to find that connection, try to find that that wedge that pushes open the door. So a perfect example of this was we saw when we were at alt summit, where we met last year, we saw Allie Webb and Allie Webb was on the stage.

And so her son goes to the college that I went to. And I knew that. And so I started, when I saw that she was going to be the speaker, I started sending her messages on Instagram, making that connection and kind of like, I didn’t ask for her time or anything, but I just kept reminding it.

And so now I get messages back to her when she’s trying to, she’s selling things to me. But, you know, you kind of want to put your foot into their, into their world a little bit and find that connect, that moment of connectivity. And know that oftentimes, sometimes those people will pay you no attention.

And sometimes they will, you’ve got to shoot your shot because you never know what that person needs, wants, or is looking for in their life, in their life. They are human. And you just never know, yeah.

Jennifer Garner doesn’t know it yet, but we’re going to be going to be.

How about when someone you’re talking to, you feel like this conversation is not going well, it’s not beneficial. You want to end it, but how do you gracefully exit the conversation without being rude? 

Yes. Okay.

This is my favorite one. Oh, and this is probably the biggest challenge one. I will find.

So hopefully at this point in the night, I’ve already met other people. So I will use the other people I’ve met as an exit. So for example, I’ll be like, Lucy, I loved talking to you about, um, I don’t know, doggy daycares, whatever we were talking, coaching strategies.

I there’s someone that I need to connect with over there. But before I, we say goodbye, I really want you to meet Susan. I met her earlier.

She’s a coach. I think you guys will have a lot in common. Let me go find her and make sure that you guys have the chance to connect.

And so then I’m pulling you to a person. I’m teeing up this conversation and maybe you guys will have more in common than you and I had. That is good.

Generous. So then let’s, let’s play this scenario. You haven’t met Susan yet.

This is your first combo of the night. Same thing applies where I’d grab your information and send you an email or send an email to my account. And then say, Lucy, there’s a few other people that I’m hoping to circulate with here, but I had such a wonderful time connecting with you.

And I can’t wait to follow up with you on X, Y, and Z that I sent the email. I’m going to go find that person. See you around.

I’m eight months pregnant. I’m going to go to, I have to go to the bathrooms. So please excuse me.

Thank you so much. So many great tips before I let you go. What is your favorite quote?

Oh, I love this one. And this was a hard one to narrow down, but I found this one by Keith Farazi. I have no idea who this person is, but the currency of real networking is not greed, but generosity.

So remember, put those deposits in and be generous because it’s much easier to withdraw from a full bank.

Beautifully said. Thank you so much, Emily. Everyone listening, you want to connect with Emily.

She is the queen of networking. She can, she can set you up with everything you need. 

Yes, of networking.

So connect with her. And where can we find you at? 

Follow me on Instagram.

I’m Emily A. Merrell, spelled like the shoes, not the bank. And you can also find me at my company.

That is a whole networking business called seconddegreesociety.com. 

Thank you.

Thank you so much, Lucy.