Over-apologizing is a common symptom of people with low self-esteem, fear of conflict or fear of what others would think.

But, even powerful people sometimes temporarily forget their power and shrink to say sorry. 

This episode is dedicated to those who say sorry way too much. Some general terms for someone who apologizes too much might be “over-apologizer,” “apology addict,” or “sorry-saurus.” 

This goes hand in hand with poor boundaries, perhaps accepting blame for things we didn’t do or couldn’t control. Some people just constantly apologize for EVERYTHING, random things that obviously need no apology. It actually forces the other end of the conversation to always be saying, ‘No, not at all, it’s ok”. Well some people at first might be impressed wi th the grace and good manners, but after too much of the “I’m sorrys” it’s just too much.

So one of the top reasons we use apologetic language is because it feels more polite. Although all genders are encouraged at a young age to have good manners, a heavier emphasis on this value is often placed on girls’ ability to be nice, polite, and compliant. There’s nothing wrong with being polite—if the situation calls for it. But for most situations in life, you actually don’t need to apologize. 

Over-apologizing can be a difficult habit to break, but with some practice, it is totally possible to stop this behavior. Here are some tips that can help you stop over-apologizing:

1. Always start with awareness: Be aware of your apologies.  The first step to stopping over-apologizing is to become aware of when and why you are doing it. Notice the situations that trigger your apologies and the frequency with which you apologize.
2. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness practices can help you become more aware of your thoughts and emotions. This can help you catch yourself when you are about to over-apologize and allow you to choose a more appropriate response.
3. Understand the impact of over-apologizing: Over-apologizing can diminish the impact of a genuine apology and make you seem less confident. It can also undermine your authority and make others feel uncomfortable.
4. Practice self-compassion: Sometimes, over-apologizing is a result of low self-esteem. Practicing self-compassion can help you develop a more positive relationship with yourself, which can, in turn, reduce the need to apologize excessively.
5. Learn to accept compliments: Sometimes, over-apologizing can be a way of deflecting compliments or attention. Practice accepting compliments graciously, without the need to apologize or downplay your own accomplishments.
6. Use “thank you” instead: Instead of apologizing for something that is not your fault or is a minor issue, try saying “thank you” instead. For example, if someone is waiting for you and you arrive late, instead of saying “I’m sorry I’m late,” say “Thank you for waiting for me.” This will show appreciation rather than focusing on your perceived fault.

By becoming aware of your apologies, understanding the impact of over-apologizing, and practicing mindfulness and self-compassion, you can break the habit of over-apologizing and become more confident in your interactions with others.

Connect with Lucy 

Nancy Parsons is the CEO/Founder of CDR Companies, Creator of CDR-U Coach, Best Selling Author and award winning thought leader. 

Nancy Parsons is a globally recognized expert in combining the science of assessments with the art of developing people. Nancy was the MEECO International Thought Leader of Distinction in Executive Coaching (2019) and author of the Amazon bestseller: Women Are Creating the Glass Ceiling and Have the Power to End It.  

Nancy and her team recently launched CDR-U Coach, the first of its kind, A/I type avatar coach that provides individualized feedback and development for all employees and was just awarded the 2021 Gold Star Winner of the “Best New Product or Service of the Year” by the Stevie Awards for Women in Business and recognized for the 2022 Houston Business Journal Innovation Awards.

Nancy’s primary clients include global C-Suite members and executive coaches.

In this episode, we talk about:

• What is the glass ceiling for women?
• What’s the cause of glass ceilings?
• Why women impose these ceilings to ourselves?
• What are risk factors?
• and so much more…

Stacey Bennette is a Certified Profit First Coach & Creator of 2 Day Profit Accelerator. She helps purpse-driven companies grow profits, manage risk, and make a bigger impact. 

In this episode you’ll learn: 

• mindset change from not being good with money to money is easy
• common mistakes businesses making
• a quick 30-second overview of Profit First
• strategies help enhance success
• and much more