This episode is for you if you want some profound new insights into the transformative power in forgiveness.

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Today we’re talking to Katharine Giovanni, a three-time award-winning best-selling author, speaker, and one of the original founders of the independent concierge industry. Katharine has authored over twelve books, including her latest release, ‘The Ultimate Path to Forgiveness: Unlocking Your Power.’ Katharine’s journey, from battling stage 3 breast cancer to navigating a challenging childhood, has given her profound insights about resilience and forgiveness. Join us as Katharine shares these invaluable lessons and explores the transformative power of forgiveness. Get ready for a conversation brimming with inspiration and empowerment!

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Hello, hello, beautiful souls. Welcome, welcome. This episode is for you if you want some profound news insights into the transformative power in forgiveness.

If you have trouble forgiving someone, this is for you. And for that I have today’s expert with me Katharine Giovanni, a forgiveness coach, three time award winning bestselling author of 12 books, and she is also a dynamic speaker, trainer, and advisor. Isn’t that amazing?

Welcome to the show, Katharine.

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.

Okay, I’m diving straight in with the tough question, Katharine, is it even possible to forgive the unforgivable?

Maybe. Everybody who’s listening and watching your show right now, 10 out of 10, and probably you as well, on a 10 scale with 10 being unforgivable dumpster fire and one being super easy, everybody’s thinking of their number 10, everybody. And you probably don’t want to forgive that person.

And you know, that’s fair. It may not even be appropriate to forgive that person. And you don’t have to forgive that person.

And I’m the only one that’s going to tell you that. And why? Because you’ve got all the people you’ve rated one to nine to forgive first, before you even get to that dumpster fire.

So it’s possible. Now, everybody tells you, you have to forgive. Nobody teaches you how.

And then they go on to say, well, you need to forgive and then forget. No, not going to happen. I don’t know one person who can forget.

There might be one unicorn person on the planet somewhere that can magically forget these things. I, however, I’m not one of them. So with my method, you’re not going to forget, but you’ll neutralize the memory using my method.

You won’t think great thoughts. You won’t think bad thoughts. Forgiveness to me, the definition of forgiveness merely means I want you out of my head.

Bottom line, I want you out of my head. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want the memory there.

I want you out of my head. That’s really what my definition is.

I like that definition. It’s something different. And it’s so true, because what’s what’s on our thought is going to trigger our emotions and in turn lead to different actions after, right?

Right. Yeah. With forgiveness, there’s a couple of there’s a couple of principles with forgiveness.

Forgiving somebody doesn’t mean they were correct. They weren’t, they’re still going to be wrong. Forgiveness means I want you out of my head.

Forgiveness, if I forgive you, it doesn’t necessarily mean I want a relationship with you. I probably don’t. And that’s fine.

Now I’ve been sober for 34 years. And part of recovery, this was dinosaurs were roaming back then, but they do tell you, you need to forgive and you need to make amends and you need to reach out to these people. Okay.

Um, I really have a problem with that because I was actually kind of shy growing up. So I didn’t really want to reach out to anybody. And if you’re reaching out to somebody, you need, you need to forgive.

It may not even be appropriate to reach out to this person. So my method is you can do it in the privacy of your own home and nobody has to know. And I want you to take your, I want you to sit down with a pen and paper and here’s the meat and potatoes of it.

I want you to sit down with a piece of paper and just write down the people, places, and things. I did say places and things stay with me of people you think you need to forgive. And then I want you to rate them from one to 10 and you might have three number threes and five number fives.

It doesn’t matter to me, just rate them. And then I want you to start with the number ones, the person in the grocery store that cuts you off on aisle four, you can forgive that person. The kid in grammar school who cheated off your paper, you can forgive that person.

The person that cuts you off on I-95 South, you can forgive that person. And as you forgive people, you’re going to start to feel better. You’re going to start to feel lighter.

You’re going to start to pay attention to things that are not having to do with these horrible memories. And it’s going to start to make a difference. And then the piece that nobody really knows about is Einstein proved that energy is neither created nor destroyed.

It just changes form and everything on the planet has energy. When you get mad, what do we all think? It leaves my mouth and it magically dissipates in the universe.

It does not. It hangs around your energy field and it will stay there until you clear it. So when you forgive people, the reason they have a nasty habit of not staying forgiven, unless it’s in Martha and you have to go have Thanksgiving with her every year, is because you didn’t forgive the energy around the person.

So you forgive the person, the energy around the person, yourself, the energy around yourself, and then the energy around the entire thing.

That is something different than what we’re used to be taught as we grew up. It’s a lot deeper than just the surface. Oh, I’m sorry.

Or, oh, I forgive you. It’s a lot deeper than that.

Because sometimes if you just say, I’m sorry, and I forgive you, you really don’t. Yeah. Because you really don’t.

You go back to your car and you just you’re steaming. And then of course, you want the person you’re angry at to be as angry as you are. But they’re not, are they?

They’re going about their life. They’re going out to dinner and they’re going to work. And you’re the one who’s miserable.

You’re the one who’s sitting there stewing. And your friend’s circle has probably gone down to zero because who wants to be around you? Because you’re angry and you’re talking about it all the time.

And that’s the problem. But if you sit down and you start forgiving the easy ones, it’s going to be easier in your life. For anybody listening, I’m about to hold an opaque cup in front of my face.

When you’re first angry, it’s easy to keep the anger off to the side. But as you keep that anger, look at my body language. Okay.

You and I can still have a conversation, but it’s a little bit more hard because it’s starting to take my life over. So it’s starting to come into my conversation. Now I’m holding the cup in front of my face.

Now look at my body language. My arms are engaged. I can’t see you.

We can’t engage. So what forgiveness does, especially my method, it’s going to allow you to put your little glass of anger down. Now look at my body language.

I might see a job opportunity. I might see a brand new client come into my business. I’ve been a serial entrepreneur for years.

And why didn’t I notice it before? Because I was paying attention to the anger. Imagine that client you just had that just dissed you and you lost the job.

Forgive that client. Forgiving clients and people will actually raise your bottom line. Why?

Because you’re going to start to pay attention. You’re going to pay attention to opportunities. You’re going to pay attention to all sorts of things.

And you’re probably going to get compliments. You’re going to say, Lucy, you’ve done something with your hair. Something about you is different.

Well, you can tell them or not, depending upon you, but sure, your energy is different. You’re not as angry anymore. So you feel better too.

Yeah.

It’s really a powerful, powerful thing.

Yeah. I hear that a lot though. One of the things I’ve heard before is this, I’ve forgiven, but I’m still angry.

Right?

Obviously we want to.

How do we get rid of that anger? How do we get, how do we get rid of that energy that’s still there?

This is a marathon, not a sprint.

So what you’re going to do, let’s say you’re trying to forgive somebody who you’ve rated a level eight, right? And, or let’s, let’s just dive into the tens. Tens are tough.

You’re not going to get a 10 unforgivable dumpster fire down to a one in one sitting. Ain’t going to happen. It’s just not going to happen.

But you can pick apart that memory. You can start by saying, I forgive myself for not being able to forgive. Start there.

That’s going to move a little energy. Let’s say you need to forgive a bully from childhood, like I did actually. And every day you drive to work.

And when you get to that one red light, your old school is right on the corner and you see it and you see the playground. And all of a sudden that movie’s playing in your head and you’re remembering what happened in the playground and how the bullies really bullied you. So by the time you get to your office, you’re kind of pissed off.

You’re kind of in a really bad mood. So how do you get rid of it? Okay.

I want you to go into that memory. And remember Einstein also said that everything has energy around it, even the inanimate object. So what I’ll tell you to do is forgive other pieces of the memory, forgive the school, forgive the kids who didn’t help you, forgive the playground, forgive the desk, the table, the chair, forgive yourself.

And as you forgive that, the memory is going to lighten up. So the 10 might get down to a nine. So then you wait 24 or 48 hours and you do it again.

It’s like an onion and you’re slowly peeling back layers of the onion. And as you peel back those layers, sadly more memories will pop up, but you forgive that layer as they come. And eventually you can get the 10 down to a seven all the way down to a, to a believable two or three, and then you can probably toss it.

But in the meantime, you’ve managed to lighten up your life. You’ve faced that brick wall. And instead of trying to power through it, you’ve walked around the brick wall and you forgive what you can and circle back later.

I think that’s a great reminder that everything we want in life pretty much takes time, but it’s your determination, your decision to make it happen. Right. And then the belief that it will happen.

And this goes with so many areas of our life.

My question now is, is there a certain set stage in forgiveness?

Oh, like Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief?

Yeah, there is. Instead of stages, I call them the numbers.

They’re level tens down to a five down to a one. And you might start out and think, oh, well, this person is a three. And after you do my little mantra, and it’s a very simple little poem, there’s nothing to burn.

There’s no, there’s nothing. It’s just a very simple little poem. And you might think, well, I’m still kind of angry at this person.

So maybe that three was actually a six. So in, in my method, I want you to rate all of these people and everything is correct there. You can’t, you can’t mess this up.

It’s not possible. As long as you start with your number ones and you move through it and you know, you’re not going to forgive your tens right away. And you’re probably still going to be angry, which is actually why I want you to start with the easy ones, because that’s going to make you’re going to start to feel better.

Coffee will smell better, food will taste better, because you’re not living in the past anymore. It’s very hard to be your authentic self to a faith through a haze of anger and resentment and bitterness. So by forgiving people, you’re finally going to be the authentic person and you are meant to be when you came to this planet, you’re finally going to be able to walk that golden path.

Beautifully said.

For someone who’s listening. I always say, remember that you have to forgive yourself as well for holding on to these anger in the past, right? For what you have gone through that you weren’t able to let go at the time.

That’s really an essential part of forgiveness as well. Would you agree with me?

I a hundred percent agree with you. Um, this is the first book of three and the second book is probably going to focus on number tens and how to forgive yourself. And if you having trouble forgiving yourself, I want you to pick it or your, I want you to pick it apart.

Like you would a number 10, you’re going to have a whole bunch of memories. It may be one memory. It might be 10 memories that you’re, you’re beating yourself up about, but I want you to pick the memory apart and forgive other things within that memory.

If it’s something from work, you can forgive your boss. You can forgive the people who didn’t help you. You can forgive the table, the chair, the building and the energy around all of these things.

And that’s going to lighten it up. And you’re not going to be as angry anymore. Forgive yourself for not being able to forgive yourself.

Start there. Just start with that simple. I forgive myself for not being able to forgive myself and the energy around this.

Just start there. And that’s going to loosen up the energy a little bit. And then you can make, you know, you could write a list of things that you’re beating yourself up for, rate them from one to 10 and just go through it.

Starting with the number ones. This is a process. This is not a quick fix.

This is going to take you some time, but it’s 100% worth it because the more I’m an entrepreneur from way back from 95, when dinosaurs round, and I’ve been, I’ve been doing this a long time. And when I first discovered this method, I started to forgive people and my business bottom line went up. I started to get more clients.

And I thought I’m a college educated girl. Why is forgiving somebody in my personal life affecting my business bottom line? The two shouldn’t be, there should be no similarity yet.

There it was fact. One was absolutely affecting the other. So this will help your personal life, your relationships, and it will help your business.

Oh yeah. When we change the business of our life, we change the life of our business. That is like one of the best lines I’ve heard.

Yeah.

Everything changes. And don’t be surprised if people leave your life because they will. Jim Rohn said, you are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.

So who are you spending time with? And as you get more positive and you get more loving and you get lighter and lighter and more optimistic, the negative Nellies in your life are going to go, what’s she up to? And they may either leave your life or try to sabotage it.

Don’t be surprised. Just spend your time with people who are brighter, happy, optimistic people, which is what I try and do. I try and spend my time with people better than me.

And it’s, if it’s family, it’s going to be very hard. If you’re living with your number 10, I think we can both agree. Please move to another location.

If you’re living with your number 10, if you can’t move well, then try and spend time with people who are not number 10.

Yeah, that is so true. One other thing that I hear a lot when it comes to being hard to forgive someone else is that having to admit that you are wrong. Sometimes when we feel like, oh, if I forgive this person, that means they were right.

And I am wrong. How do you shift your mindset on that?

I’m not a very religious person, but there is one. I went to a very weird school and I had to memorize Bible verses when I was a kid. And one of them has always gotten me to forgiveness.

And it’s how I forgave my parents. And it’s how I forgave myself. Jesus is nailed up on the cross, probably in a lot of pain between you and me.

I mean, that’s painful. And he said, forgive them, father. They know not what they do.

Meaning if I’m talking to a five-year-old and they don’t know trigonometry, I can’t get angry at that because they haven’t learned it yet. My parents did the best they could with the tools they had at the time. Was it good enough?

No, but they did their best. And I can forgive that with a little Simone Biles level of mental gymnastics. I can get myself to forgive my parents.

And when it comes to myself, you need to forgive yourself for becoming the person you needed to be in order to survive. Today is a brand new day. You woke up and it’s a brand new person.

And the person you were yesterday, you needed to be that person so you could survive. You can forgive that person. They did the best they could with the tools they had at the time.

Forgive that person. And when you’re dealing with stuff like that, it really doesn’t matter who was wrong and who was right. It’s in the past and the past can’t really hurt you anymore.

So forgive that person, whatever happened, forgive that person. They did the best they could.

Okay. So with your experience and clients, what are some other reasons you’ve seen why people can’t forgive someone else?

They don’t want to.

That’s the number one. They enjoy being angry.

And the number one reason is change is very scary. And if I lose my story, who am I going to be? I’m a survivor.

I survived this horrible thing and I’m telling the story and I’m writing about it and talking about it. It’s my identity. It’s my armor.

It brings me strength. The hate and the anger, it fuels my fire. It’s how I get going in the morning.

And if I lose all of that, well, that’s very scary, isn’t it? Who are you going to be? But imagine if you’ve gotten as far as you have using anger as fuel, imagine how much farther you could go if you toss the anger and you use the love instead.

You’ll get twice as far, twice as fast if you actually allow yourself to let go of all of that.

That is so good. And the victim mentality is so dangerous.

Yeah. And you have made money and you are doing well, but you could do twice as well and do twice as much and attract three times as many people if you lose that. And you could still tell the stories.

You can tell, I was here. This is what I did. I do it myself.

I’ve gone through a lot in my life. But it’s a question if you do it from a place of love as opposed to a place of anger. It’s a completely different breed of cat.

That is powerful right there. So what was your story, Catherine? How did you get into, I mean, you talked about it a little bit, right?

In your business, it helped your bottom line. How about your personal life? Was it something you talked about your parents a little bit after forgiving them?

How did it change your life?

Well, I think the flashpoint in my life was when my mother died and I was raised by two alcoholics. And about three years before she died, she fell down a flight of stairs, broke her hip and ended up in the hospital. And even my mother couldn’t get a gin and tonic in the hospital.

So she dried out and she went to rehab and we had three beautiful years together. And then she died. She died of breast cancer.

And I knew that if I didn’t clean my act up, I was going to die too. So I quit drinking. I’ve been sober for 34 years.

And in the rooms and AA, they teach you about forgiveness and you have to make amends and do a fourth step and all of these things, but they don’t really teach you how, but I was giving it lip service and just robotically saying, oh yeah, I forgive them. No, I wasn’t. But I’m going to say it anyways, because that’s what you want me to say.

And I kind of floated through life and I finally figured out forgiveness. And I am a concierge trainer by trade. And very early in the concierge industry, the independent concierge industry, I started doing workshops, teaching people customer service and how to become a concierge.

But I can’t teach you to be warm, friendly and approachable and offer five-star customer service. If you’re angry inside, because the anger is going to bleed through your body language, whether you want it to or not. So I had to come up with a method and anybody who’s my age knows that back in the 1990s, you didn’t bring a soft topic to a workshop.

It wasn’t done. Well, yeah, I’m crazy. I did it because I needed to get rid of their anger.

And that’s actually how it all started. I was trying to get these concierge who often couldn’t even leave their desk to lose their anger at somebody at a client or guest who comes in front of them, piss them off. Okay, well, you’ve got another guest standing behind.

How do I lose that anger? How do I move forward fast? And that’s how I came up with a lot of the forgiveness methods I use today.

But I’m retired from that industry. So yeah, now I’m just doing this.

Amazing. Okay. So for someone listening, if they’re holding on to some grudge inside of them still, what are your top tips for them right now?

My top tip is to sit down and on a piece of paper, write down, you can try 10 at a time, the top 10 people you think you need to forgive. And then I want you to rate them. I’m very serious about this.

I want you to rate them from one to 10. And whoever you’re thinking of that unforgivable, I’m bitter. It’s my ex-partner.

I’m never going to forgive that person. They’re a 10, write them down and work on them last. Do the work before you go to bed because your body heals itself as you sleep and try and only do 10 at a time.

So because it’s going to be easier on your body and start with the people you label a one, two, and three. And after you do the mantra that I have in the book, and I’ve worked sheeps and all that kind of stuff in there, check in with your body and see if you’re still angry. And if you’re still angry, don’t put a check by their name, wait 24 hours and do it again.

And if you really can’t forgive the person and you’re really thinking, I don’t want to forgive the person and just forgive the energy and nothing else. Forgive yourself and the energy, and then try again in 24 hours. This is a process and it is like an onion.

And even if you don’t think it worked, it did work. I guarantee you it worked. You just forgave the first layer.

So you’re not going to feel a big shift, especially if you’re dealing with the higher number of people. You can do this and women, you’re worthy. Men don’t have this problem, but women have this irritating, I’m not worthy bug in their head.

And I’m here to tell you, and I know Lucy’s going to tell you too, you are worthy. You can do this. You deserve a life of joy and happiness.

It’s your birthright.

So good. Beautifully said. In any days when you need an uplift, is there a favorite quote that you go by in life, Katharine?

I, a favorite quote of mine, you know, I actually love that, that Jim Rohn quote. You’re the, some of the five people you spend the most time with. And that that’s one of my favorites.

And there’s another favorite of mine, which I think is Benjamin Franklin. And as an entrepreneur, it’s one of my favorites ever. I haven’t tried 1000 ways to make the light bulb work.

I’ve successfully discovered 999 ways that don’t. So I love, I love that quote. Just keep trying, you know, absolutely.

So good. Awesome. So tell us a little bit more about your book.

What is the, you have 12. So we’re just going to go with the latest title.

It’s the ultimate path to forgiveness, unlocking your power. You can find it on Amazon. And I do understand that a lot of people don’t like to read.

So the audio book is available as well as the paperback and the ebook. And you can also find me at Katharine Giovanni.com and Catherine, thanks to my mother is spelled a little bit odd. It’s K-A-T-H-A-R-I-N-E.

Thanks mom. Giovanni.com. I love it.

I love it. Well, thank you.

Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it.

In this empowering episode, host Lucy Liu shares her insights on how to become a stronger, better version of yourself by starting now. Lucy emphasizes the importance of not waiting for the ‘right time’ to initiate change, but instead, taking small, actionable steps towards your goals.

Join Lucy as she guides you through these five habits to cultivate greater emotional strength and confidence. Consistency is key, and by integrating these habits into your daily routine, you can achieve long-term benefits.

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This episode is for you if you want to be a stronger, better version of you not tomorrow, not next year, but start now. Alot of people wait for change and wait to start and wait for the right time, blah blah blah because they overthink, they overthink on what it takes to accomplish their goals. 

Say you are at point A now, and your end goal is Point Z as in zebra, and that destination just seems so daunting, it’s so far away and you will never get there, just go from point A to point B then focus on going to point C. 

As Tony Robbins says don’t overestimate what you can do in a year but don’t underestimate what you can do in a decade. You can live a completely different life in just 5 years. And in a decade, you might think the younger you was from another life.

But there is no overnight success, there is not one single hack that will get you what you want. The true hack is that the answers lay inside the small daily habits of your life. Small daily habits become your actions and your actions will determine your results.

If you are here, you are probably already a high-achieving woman who is successful in her line of work. Remember that continuously cultivating daily habits will enhance your emotional strength and confidence is crucial for sustaining your success and well-being. 

Here are my top 5 habits that made be a better stronger confident person and I hope they’ll serve as a reminder for you to work on your emotional resilience and boost your confidence:

Mindful Morning Rituals

Starting your day right is crucial. Starting your day with intention sets a positive tone, enhances focus, and reduces stress, preparing you to handle challenges with calmness. 

Now there is no right or wrong answer here, but what’s important is that you dedicate the first 10-20 minutes of your day to activities like meditation, deep breathing exercises, or gentle stretching. Do something that will help center your thoughts, increase self-awareness, and promote a sense of control over your day. I like to start my day with meditation and positive affirmations right when I wake up. For you that could be morning yoga, workout, whatever you enjoy doing that will ground you and start your day right. 

Structured Time Management and Boundary Setting

Effective time management reduces stress, prevents burnout, and ensures a healthy work-life balance. But I don’t think it’s really so much about time management, of course you can implement time management and productivity strategies like batching your work or time blocking, but I think it really comes down to not managing your time but managing your priorities and setting your boundaries. 

Setting boundaries protects your emotional well-being and maintains your energy for both personal and professional goals.

Plan your day by prioritizing tasks and allocating specific times for work, breaks, and personal activities. Clearly communicate your boundaries to colleagues and loved ones, and stick to them to maintain balance. Utilize tools like planners or digital calendars to stay organized and manage your time efficiently. 

I always have my clients start by blocking their time off on their calendar for their personal non-negotiable activities first such as sleep, meal time, workout time, time to walk your dog or read. If you catch yourself saying I don’t have time for xyz, well, it is on your calendar? 

Continuous Learning and Skill Development: 

Invest in your personal and professional growth by learning new skills, attending workshops, conferences or reading. This not only boosts confidence but also keeps you adaptable and resilient in changing environments.

I remember when I first started my personal development journey, I used to take alot of free courses. Then I started buying $7 ebooks, then I moved onto buying $500 courses to eventually $7000 coaching programs etc. Many of the women who I’ve spoken to had a similar path. We used to think about whether or not to buy that $7 ebook, but now we don’t blink buying a $2000 course, because we see the value in investing in ourselves. Always remember you are not investing in that instructor in that coach, you are investing in yourself, you believe in you and you believe you are worthy of that price tag and therefore you rise and uplevel to your next best self in the process. 

Celebrate Your Achievements: 

Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how small. Gained 1 follower today? Well, celebrate that! Recognizing your accomplishments reinforces your confidence and motivates you to continue striving toward your goals. What gets celebrated gets repeated! Do you want that successful result repeated? Well go celebrate it! Don’t ever think your accomplishments are too small, even making your bed in the morning calls for celebration. 

This is also why I host monthly workshops called the #IamRemarkable workshop. #IAmRemarkable is a global movement that empowers everyone, including underrepresented groups, to celebrate their achievements in the workplace and beyond, while challenging the social perception around self-promotion.

In this interactive session, you will participate in group discussions and exercises to increase your comfort and confidence in self-promotion.

• reflect on our own limiting beliefs on self-promotion.
• share data and research regarding self-promotion and bias.
• go through the main exercise to help you identify and share your achievements.
• wrap up with discussion and take home exercises.

So reach out to me anywhere on social and message me #Iamremarkable and I will send you the time for my next workshop. In this interactive session, you will increase your confidence and skills in self-promotion. And if you have a group or organization let me know and I will be happy to run this workshop for you as I am truly passionate about this movement and donate my time monthly to doing so. 

Practice Gratitude: 

Incorporate a gratitude practice by acknowledging the positive aspects of your life. This can shift your focus from what’s lacking to what’s abundant. My life truly changed after I started my daily gratitude journaling. Even on the days when I had an argument with my husband, I still wrote down in my journal: I am grateful for my husband for helping me cultivate more patience. No matter how bad a situation might be, there is always something we can learn from it. If you see the event from the lens of positivity and gratitude, the situation will be very different than if you see it from a lens of lack and blame. 

Don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or coach if you’re facing emotional challenges. A therapist can help you let go of something from the past that you are holding on to and a coach will hold you accountable to a better future. Professional guidance can provide strategies and support to strengthen your emotional resilience.

So by integrating these 5 habits into your daily routine, you can cultivate greater emotional strength and confidence, empowering you to navigate the demands of your professional and personal life with resilience and assurance. 

Remember, consistency is key, and small, daily actions can lead to significant long-term benefits. Cheers to you making baby steps towards your exponential growth and I’ll see you next week. 

Join Lucy Liu and Shamina Taylor in this powerful episode to discover how you can achieve self-mastery and become unapologetically rich!

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Shamina Taylor, Attorney turned Wealth Expert, Business Mentor, Author and Speaker, helps high-achieving women level up in their personal lives and in their businesses by teaching them how to become the most powerful, fulfilled, wealthy, and successful version of themselves.

With over 20 years of experience, Shamina is a top industry leader and has helped hundreds of women build their businesses, both on- and offline. She is also known for working with high-profile grammy-winning celebrities and bringing them the most expansive results through her mentorship and programs.

The Quantum Woman® Podcast by Shamina Taylor recently hit the top 20 out of 100 in business categories featuring bingeworthy solo and guest feature episodes, allt the while her book Unlocking The Quantum Woman for Women landed the #1 bestseller for under women in business in on Amazon.com.

She has also spoken at numerous events and Shamina has been featured in Fortune, Yahoo Finance, and Medium, and on Pix11’s New York Living, Fox, CBS and  ABC.

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Hello, hello, beautiful souls. This episode is for you if you want to have it all and be unapologetically rich.

Doesn’t that sound good? And for that exact reason, I have my special guest today, the powerhouse Shamina Taylor, a former attorney turned wealth consciousness mentor, author of the Amazon number one bestseller, Unlocking the Quantum Women, keynote speaker and podcast host of the Apple podcast, Unapologetically Rich. Welcome to the show.

Thank you for having me.

Yay. I’m a big believer that self-mastery is the key to living life by our own design. And I know you previously talked about why self-mastery is also the key to having it all.

So let’s start there. Let’s start with what self-mastery is. So what is your definition of self-mastery, Shamina?

Self-mastery is learning how to basically be accountable for your own self and self-accountability. It’s it’s being able to reflect back in what what you’re doing, how you’re operating, and then you making the decision, you having the power to change the outcome. And when you can master yourself, you can master your emotions.

You can master your money. You can master your time. This is like when you’re in your power position, as opposed to, you know, people who say, well, if only this happened, I would have this.

With self-mastery, you’re like, well, I’m going to make this happen because I know I can’t. You know, it’s having that power within. And this is where a lot of people hand their power over.

And that scarcity victim mindset comes in. This is where I help people get mastered in self.

Beautifully said. And I love that. And I believe this is a skill that we can actually learn.

Would you agree?

Absolutely. I feel it’s a skill. I also feel it’s a coming home to yourself, your authentic self.

You know, when you are no longer having to be somebody else or wear a mask, needing approval, having validation, having unhealed stuff in your past come through, you see the world through a different lens. You become really unapologetic about who you are, what you say you’re, you know, how you want to live your life, how rich you want to be. You know, you don’t worry about what other people are thinking about you when you are self-mastered.

It is different than just being confident. It’s being in a place of, I know who I am and I’m okay with it. And I’m okay with other people not being okay with it.

And one of the things I usually say is that everything starts with self-awareness. And I think I would say that’s also the first step to having self-mastery.

It’s everything. I mean, a lot of the times people aren’t even aware of what they’re doing because their subconscious minds are running the show. They consciously think that they’re doing the right thing or they’re out seeking the correct goal.

But subconsciously there’s a whole different story that’s happening underneath the surface. And that’s what I work with a lot of my clients and women with. It’s like when they’re like, well, I haven’t hit the income goal yet.

I’m like, let’s dig in. Let’s find out where that story is. Or, you know, why don’t I have that love of my life?

Or why is my relationship in this state? Why is my business here? Why am I not here yet?

And it’s not because of something they’re doing. It’s in fact something that they’re being. And so self-mastery is a way of how you can be aware of what you’re doing, but also the beingness of who you are.

Because that energy is going to trump almost anything you do. It’s going to affect everything you do, right? It’s because I always say energy doesn’t lie, but people do.

You know, that’s my quote. And I feel like you can’t pretend to be something you’re not when it’s on the surface, you know, underneath the surface. So the more that you master who you are, the more clarity you have of what you can do in this world.

Yes. And it’s about learning emotional intelligence. It’s learning, yeah, positive thinking, goal setting, time management, so much to learn, but it’s also worth it in the end, right?

I mean, for me, it’s maybe millions. So I was an attorney making money. And then when I learned to master my emotions, which I talk about in my book, it is not just because most women who are high achievers turn off their emotions.

And this is part of self-mastery. They turn off their emotions and they go into their masculine doing state where they just get things done. And usually that comes from a trauma response of not opening their heart or not being able to feel safe to feel because they’re trying to cut off.

And many of them become the ice queen or they’re not very emotionally mature enough to share that, you know, emotion. This is, you know, emotional intelligence comes deeper than just feeling through things. It’s being mastered in your emotions, especially for a woman.

And what I love to help women do is start to feel again, you know, and be safe in the feeling again, because those emotions are our superpower. It’s our compass on how we master ourselves. It’s OK to be upset.

You know, it’s OK to feel something. But growing up, no one ever said, hey, Lucy, how are you feeling today? You know, it’s like, Lucy, show me how well you can do this thing.

Right. That’s what I was raised with. Like achieve approval, achieve approval.

That was the game. And I found once women can really tap into their emotions, because I’ve said money is masculine and the way we receive it is feminine. If we can work into our emotions, we start mastering ourselves in a different way.

We learn how to be responsive versus reactive. We’re no longer triggered. We’re in a very high, powerful, empowered self.

We then have mastery over money and everything else in our lives. It’s not us, you know, waiting to react to situations in our life.

Yeah, it is powerful. I hear you because when we were younger, when we hear the word self mastery, like I felt like, oh, it’s self control. I need to control myself.

Right. But it’s actually a little bit different. Right.

I actually believe controlling is a trauma response to when you have to control everything, know everything, micromanage people, pleasing perfectionism. They’re all rooted in scarcity mindset because we’re worried about the outcome. And if women actually started doing things a little bit more chaotic, more what they felt like doing in the day, not what they’re required to do.

Instead of having a super busy schedule, like what did you want to do today? Be more intentional with how you live. I think that is actually having more control over creating the life that you want, as opposed to responding to what, you know, reacting to what, sorry, you know, the world is telling you, you have to do.

And when you have mastery, you know what you really want in life. Like if someone, this is the, this is the craziest thing. I’ll ask women, what do you want?

And they’ll like freeze. Oh, I don’t know. They’ll say, well, I want the house.

I’m like, no, like, what do you really desire? And they don’t know because they’re goal checking and goal comes from the masculine, the mind. But the desire is like, well, I, I really want to be, you know, a ballerina.

I’m just thinking some things up or, you know, want to do something else. And they don’t allow themselves to feel into the truest desires of their, their soul because they’re disconnected from their emotions and the mastery of their emotions. So that’s the first thing I start working on with women.

You know, it’s like, what do you want? And not because what society tells you what you want, but really what is it that you truly desire? Because if it’s on your heart, there’s a reason, right?

And when women feed their desires, they make so much more money because it’s coming from a place of a connected state. Like when you’re, when you are feeling that, that, that connection to the outcome, like I wanted a G wagon and I knew I wanted one. And it wasn’t because before when I wanted things, it was just to make me feel validated.

But now I’m like, when I’m driving that car, I feel wealthy. It wasn’t for anybody else, but for myself. And when you start mastering your emotions, you start being able to create a different type of reality from just doing, doing, doing.

Because many times women are doing, and they’re getting burnt out. They’re exhausted. They’re like, why don’t I see the results that I want?

And it’s this shift that you make that actually opens up more wealth and opportunities. And just the joy of life. Like, I mean, I am so fulfilled in my life right now.

And I know that a lot of women, it’s like, what’s that thing missing? And it’s this.

I love everything you just said. And I can’t agree more, especially about goal setting. Because I mean, we all have goals, but your goals should be about you having fun in life.

It should be about you really designing it however you want it to be. And everything else is icing on the cake, right? That’s how you live a fulfilled life instead of just checking off the list.

Absolutely. And unfortunately, many women live by their lists. And they are tied to it.

I have a thing. I’m like, put three things down. You need to get done today.

Don’t put like 100 because you can always feel like you’re not achieving. And for me, being self-mastered is knowing what you’re convicted at. What do you love to do?

What do you stand by? And a lot of times people are afraid to say the things because they’re worried if they step outside of the lines and they do things that other people aren’t doing, they’re going to get some sort of heat from it. But honestly, we are so authentic, all of us.

If we just allowed ourselves to be in this mastered state, our emotions would dictate what we did in life. I know growing up and maybe I’ve been around for a lot, maybe longer than some of your listeners of my age wise, but women were always told that it was not okay to cry. I was called a crybaby when I was a little because I had so much emotions and it was looked upon as a bad thing.

But now that I realize that this is the thing that’s created so much wealth and opportunity in my life because I know how to identify my emotions. I’m not afraid to feel. I’m not afraid to fail.

I’m not afraid to do anything. I don’t have those emotions blocking me from becoming the most successful version of myself. There’s no self-sabotage there because I’m not worried about it.

There’s no income ceilings. There’s no, oh, I have to play small. I can’t be too much.

I have to watch what I’m doing because I’ve removed all of that by mastering myself through my emotions. And again, now I mastered money because money is such an emotional thing for many people. It’s not actually about money.

And a lot of us have three core wounds that we have. It’s abandonment, betrayal, and unworthiness. And for me, unworthiness drove me to my success.

I mean, we all felt not good enough. Even though we knew we were good, it still drove our success. But when you become mastered in yourself and your emotions, you no longer have to wear that mask.

It’s safe to fail. It’s safe to be vulnerable. It’s safe to do the things that you weren’t told.

Intimacy is a big thing for my clients because they don’t ever want to ask for help. So they don’t have great big support teams. They do everything themselves.

And I’m like, this is not how you’re going to make money or have the life. You can’t exchange time for money. We’ve got to learn how to let people in.

And it’s a hard thing for women when they’re in that place of not being mastered in their emotions.

And another word that came to mind when we say so much like self-control, self-sabotage, everything starts with the self. I think that’s what’s important to get through is you can depend on yourself. That’s who you truly can depend on.

And that’s why it’s important for you, the self, to have that self mastery instead of feeling the victim mentality or blaming someone else, you know, blaming your parents for what you were given, blaming your environment. Right. I think that comes up a lot for my clients as well.

They’re telling me what’s affecting their success. And I’m like, that’s not true. It’s about you.

Right.

Absolutely. As soon as I can rewire their victim mindset, and I have women who are eight figures a year that still have the victim mindset, and I have to work through that. Once we move through that scarcity or that old story and we find it and we can rewire it because you can’t attract more abundance and wealth and posterity and keep it because women can make the money, but they will go out the window.

I can see their abandonment wound comes up and it’ll come in and go out. They’ll have inconsistent cash months. They’ll be things where they’ll have a turnover in their team.

Things will just keep coming up where they’re like, I don’t know why this is happening. I mean, because we are the blueprint for our life and business. So whatever you’re doing, you’re dictating through everything around you, your business, your life, it’s you, right?

You’re determining it. So the more self-accountable, the less blame, which is, and you know, the craziest thing, sometimes women don’t even know they have the story. And I’ve got women who are making $100,000 a month and they’re like, I don’t know where the money’s going, you know?

And I’m like, let’s talk about it. And I find the story. I’m like, okay, tell me.

And it takes me like three or four questions and I get to it. And I’m like, all right, here it is. Here’s the story that you keep telling on a subconscious level every single day.

And you see the world through these lens. This is why this is happening, right? So it’s crazy.

And I love women who are listening to podcasts like this because they’re looking to improve themselves. They’re looking to betterment themselves instead of just staying in a place that’s not, you know, getting them the result. So, you know, cheers to you guys for doing that.

Yeah, absolutely. But I think on top of that, you actually, when you hear nuggets from our beautiful guests, implement them, you know, really come and reflect what can you do today differently? What’s one area of your life or business that you can improve from what you hear, right?

To better self mastery so that you can actually have it all.

Absolutely. I feel like journaling has been something that’s changed my life. I have a great journaling program too that I do.

But I mean, I feel like journaling is one of the things that, because I couldn’t BS myself anymore. It was like, all right, let’s get real right now. Let’s just, it’s just me, you and the pen.

You know, what are you actually feeling? What are you actually thinking? Because we think our thoughts are hidden.

We think that, you know, the emotions are hidden just because we’re not saying them out loud or we’re putting a name on them, but they’re there. And so if you can get real with yourself and find out where it is, I mean, that would be the first order of business. I have a thing that I do and I teach one of my programs and I say, keep a trigger journal every week, because if you can see how many times you get triggered, just write it down.

Don’t respond to the person. Just write down how many times you, someone has said something, someone did something, they could have cut you off. You’ll see where you’re not mastered because you’ll see how you’re wanting to react to that person as opposed to respond.

And then you go keep track of those things and see, is there a common theme? Is there a common theme among this? Like when that person says this, when this happens, I feel like this, you know, think about one of those core ones I mentioned, and then, then you can get to the bottom of things.

And I, and like I said, this is something that’s really important to find out because if you’re handing your power over to someone, especially a stranger all the time, you are not in an empowered place to be self-mastered, to be self-accountable, to have, because if it’s on the outside, then how can you get to the next level on the inside, right? If you feel like the power’s on the outside, but when you know everything, like you can change, you, you, you’re the reason you’re the problem and you’re the solution. That’s when you are going to get to a really self-mastered place, in my opinion, you know, like what would she, would she say, um, that gal, that, that pop singer, Taylor Swift, you know, I’m the problem.

And when you really, really recognize that you are the problem, that is like the first step to becoming self-mastered.

Yes. Connect to your truth. Be truthful to yourself, right?

Am I the problem? Because once you know yourself, you have a much sharper parameter for what feels good, what triggers you and what areas you need to improve. There’s always room for improvement, but that’s the fun of life, right?

Absolutely. It changed my life. It changed my life and it changes the lives of the women that I, I mentor.

And, and, you know, I feel like us women, we are so powerful. We can do so many great things when we tap into the root of our superpowers and our emotions. And the more that we can use them for good and not for us to be upset about things that literally don’t matter anymore from the past.

Like let’s, let’s go create amazing things in the world. And, and that’s why I say that we get to be unapologetically rich. You know, I want more women to become millionaires and multimillionaires because with money, we can do many things, you know, we can create, create major change in the world.

And the ripple effects to our daughters.

Ah, I’m telling you my children, when I see how mastered they are in their emotions, it doesn’t matter how much money I made. Because when I see that I’m like, that to me is success. Because I’ve ended generational trauma.

I’ve ended the way that we do things. They see the world from such a different place. They’re both in healthy relationships.

My daughter is 17. My son is 18. He just went off to college.

They know how to communicate to themselves. They also know that, you know, self-discipline waking up in the morning, the things that they have to do, it’s all the changes within them. And they no longer, you know, see the world if they did at a victim like that’s on the outside of me.

And that to me is the biggest thing when you do this work. And if you have children, you are going to affect them. And giving your kids money is one thing, you know, and teaching them how to make money.

But teaching your kids this, this is a game changer for their whole lives because they’re going to, they’re going to have fruitful relationships. They’re going to feel fulfilled. They’re not going to be waking up one day going, well, I did all the successful things.

Now what? You know, they’re going to be able to do it from a different place, which to me is that’s magic.

Beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. Is there a favorite quote that you go by in life?

I might butcher it, but it’s people won’t remember what you tell them or what you say, but they’ll always remember how you made them feel. And to me, that is such a big thing. And I try to leave that with everyone that I meet that they know that even if it’s Uber driver, it’s how you, how you made them feel because people remember things on an emotion, not just what you say.

So that’s, that’s my favorite one.

Hmm. Yes, yes. All the yeses.

Well, thank you so much for being with us. Where can we find you?

Well, I would love you to find me on Instagram where you can get me. You can find me on YouTube as well. We’ve had a great channel there.

You can also go grab my book, unlocking the quantum woman. It’s on Amazon and it’s a great book. It’s got five star reviews and you can come listen to our podcast unapologetically rich.

It’s different than probably what Lucy does a little bit, but it’s also going to compliment the work that she teaches you guys. And I think it’s a great way to add more to you. And you can come join our quantum woman group on Facebook.

We’d love to have you.

Awesome. Thank you.

Thank you for having me.

In this episode, Lucy explains how positive self-talk can rewire our brains, creating new neural pathways that foster confidence and resilience. 

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Hi everybody! It’s such a joy to be here with you today. This episode is to share with you something that has the powerful ability to transform your life, your career, and your connections. It’s something straightforward but significantly impactful and that is the power of positive self-talk.

You see, we all have this little voice inside our heads. It’s constantly chattering, and the things it says can either lift us up or tear us down. This is exactly what self-talk is. Now, imagine if this voice was always telling you how amazing, capable, and remarkable you are. Imagine the confidence you’d feel walking into any room or taking on any challenge.

Unfortunately, for many of us, myself included, that little voice isn’t always so kind. It might remind us of our past failures or predict future failures. It might tell us we’re not good enough, not smart enough, or not deserving of success or we are not ready for better. And here’s the kicker: we believe it! We let that voice dictate our self-worth, our daily habits, our thoughts and emotions, our actions, and ultimately, our lives.

Negative self-talk is like a cloud that dims our potential. It drains our energy, diminishes our confidence, and stops us from reaching our goals. When we constantly criticize ourselves, we reinforce a narrative that keeps us small. Think about it: would you let a friend or a loved one speak to you the way you sometimes speak to yourself? I bet not!

But here’s the good news: just as we can be our own worst critics, we can also be our greatest cheerleaders. Studies have shown that positive self-talk can rewire our brains. Neuroscientists have discovered that our thoughts can create new neural pathways. 

This means the more we practice positive self-talk, the more it becomes a natural part of our thinking process. We start to build new habits, new behaviors, and yes, newfound confidence.

So, how do we harness this power of positive self-talk? Here are three strategies:

1. Awareness and Reflection: I probably say this about every topic I speak on, always start with awareness. First, become aware of your self-talk. Pay attention to what that little voice is saying. When you catch yourself in negative self-talk, pause and reflect. Ask yourself, “Is this thought true? Is it helpful?” Tell yourself: “oh there goes that negative self talk, gotcha!” Once you notice it, don’t react to it and stop letting it effect your feelings. 
2. Reframe and Replace: Next, reframe those negative thoughts into positive affirmations. Instead of saying, “I’m terrible at this,” try saying, “I’m learning, and I’m improving every day.” Replace “I can not do this” with “I will find a way to do this.”
3. Practice and Consistency: Finally, practice positive self-talk daily. Make it a habit. Start your day with affirmations. Write down three things you love about yourself every night. Surround yourself with positivity—whether it’s books, podcasts, or people.

Let me share a quick story with you. A few years ago, when I started this podcast, and I was terrified. My inner critic was in full force, telling me I wasn’t ready, that I’d make a fool of myself. That I was nobody. That I wasn’t THE Lucy Liu people are used to seeing on screen. But then I decided to try something different. I took a deep breath, looked in the mirror, and told myself, “You’ve got this. You are unique, and you are capable.” I repeated it over and over. And guess what? That simple shift in my mindset transformed my fear into excitement. And here I am, 4 years later, this podcast is still here to bring you weekly value to transform your life. 

Now, imagine what you could achieve if you made positive self-talk a daily practice. Imagine walking into every room, every opportunity, every challenge, knowing that you are enough, that you are capable, that you are worthy. Because you are! 

You ARE amazing!

You ARE remarkable!

You have superpower!

You are irreplaceable!

You are powerful!

You are everything that you dream to be!

So, I challenge you today to start speaking to yourself with kindness, encouragement, and belief. Rewrite your inner narrative to one that empowers you, builds you up, and boosts your confidence. Remember, the most important conversation you will ever have is the one you have with yourself. Make it a powerful one. Thank you & I’ll see you in the next episode.

I believe we are always healing from something, and this episode is for you if you find yourself also on your journey to healing and personal growth.

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Jennifer Joy Jimenez has dedicated over two decades to empowering the well-being of individuals across the globe, especially with her world-renowned dance modality. And that’s what we’re going to talk about today is healing and growing with dancing. 

Jennifer’s profound impact on wellness extends far beyond the dance floor though. Her innovative programs have captured the attention of major media outlets, including Fox, NBC, South Magazine, and she has shared the stage with other thought leaders like Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer, and Deepak Chopra.

FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Hello, hello, beautiful souls. Welcome, welcome. 

I believe we are always healing from something, and this episode is for you if you find yourself also on your journey to healing and personal growth. And for this special topic, I have my special guest, Jennifer Joy Jimenez. Jennifer has dedicated over two decades to empowering the well-being of individuals across the globe, especially with her world-renowned dance modality. And that’s what we’re going to talk about today is healing and growing with dancing. 

Jennifer’s profound impact on wellness extends far beyond the dance floor though. Her innovative programs have captured the attention of major media outlets, including Fox, NBC, South Magazine, and she has shared the stage with other thought leaders like Marianne Williamson, Wayne Dyer, and Deepak Chopra. Welcome to the show, Jennifer. 

Thank you, Lucy. It is such an honor to be here. I’m super grateful. Thanks for having me. 

You’re all about healing through dancing, right? Is dancing a form of therapy? 

There is dance therapy, actually. So dancing is a form of therapy, just like art therapy is a form of therapy. What I have done is really emerged the worlds of the science of health and wellbeing with transformational spiritual principles. So think personal development, right? Which is more of a forward movement type of work therapy. We’re working with the past coaching, transformational coaching. We’re working with a vision. We’re really being drawn by a vision into a greater expanded version of ourselves. And then my secret sauce is conscious dance. It’s been one of my greatest powerful tools for healing, personal development, selfdiscovery transformation. We can talk more about that, but that’s a little bit of the difference between the two. 

So how does dance help healing? 

Well, something that’s so important these days in our modern world is that scientists and doctors are talking about how sitting is the smoking. And the reason for that is number one, our lymph system is the system that reduces and eliminates toxicity in our body, right? And so many of us spend hours and hours sitting. So just in pure health and wellbeing science, the more we can get up and move our body in dancing is one of the easiest. You need no equipment, maybe just your favorite playlist, but you literally can stand up a few times a day, hit your favorite song and literally just dance down the hallway, dance around your desk, dance into the kitchen. And it gets the lymph moving and moving all the toxicity out of your body. Just for circulation benefits, it’s really powerful and healing. There’s also been a tremendous amount of studies that are showing that of the brain, our ability to really age well in the brain, that dance above and beyond many other types of exercise or movement increases mental acuity by 76%. 

This was a study done by the New England Journal of Medicine. It can absolutely support any Alzheimer’s or any mental health issues. There’s also been a tremendous amount of studies in universities around mental health. A dose of dance actually activates our happy hormones, dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins. So it’s a natural mood booster. Just a few minutes of dance, you feel a little more happy, you feel better. It just creates this beautiful sense of self. Now, those are all the scientific reasons. 

Emotionally as well. Now, emotionally, of course, is connected to our hormones, but on a spiritual level for me, my transcendence practice, which I’ve been, I created over 20 years ago, I’ve been using as a healing and spiritual modality for myself as a spiritual practice, as a health practice, as a mental health practice for myself. But it’s also something that I bring into my transformational coaching. 

So I’m a transformational coach that specializes in mind, body, spirit connection. And one of the tools that I use to help my clients who are primarily women, but I also work with men and women to connect to their bodies is conscious dance, mindful breathing, free form movement, working with the natural energies of our bodies. I believe we’re spiritual beings having a human experience. And so many people live completely cut off from their bodies. They kind of walk around like a talking head and their brain tells their body what to do, but what they’ve disconnected from is that the body has innate healing wisdom within it. The body’s number one job is to keep us alive. Our body’s number one job is to fight off any disease. We’re either working with the body to help the body be healthy and whole, or our lifestyle is working against our health and wellness in overall mind, body, spirit connection. 

So one of the things that I learned really early in this work is that so much of our health and wellbeing information is information coming at us, telling us that our body is something that needs it’s going wrong. And our body is something that needs to be fixed. And my message is actually your body is going right. Your body has innate healing wisdom. And if we can just invest some time, right, feeling, being disconnected from our devices, feeling, breathing, and connecting to the body, the body is giving off signals and messages for health and wellbeing. It’s either giving off a signal, Hey, you need to move your body more, or Hey, you’ve done enough work. Now it’s time to rest and recover, or I’m thirsty, right? Give me some water, or you know what? I really just need some nourishing, healthy food, but instead we’re going to, you know, low energy foods like sugar and things of that nature. So it’s about really connecting with the body and allowing the body’s innate wisdom and healing capacity to emerge, be listened to and responded to in a powerful way. 

Thank you for sharing. That’s so much goodness. And I love what you said about dancing through the hallway and dancing. I do that. I dance to another room, right? It’s these little, little things that adds up to big movements, right? But can dancing heal something even deeper like childhood trauma or other types of trauma?

Yeah. You know, one of the things that we have found in the transformational space, is that big T’s, major traumas, as well as little T’s really exist for almost the majority of the population. We’ve all had really challenging experiences in our life. And I’m a big believer in all sorts of therapeutic approaches. And if there’s been a really major trauma, particularly a trauma that involved the body, which I guess all traumas are because we’re walking around in the body, but like physically touching the body, right? So sexual abuse or accidents, injuries that were really traumatic, that trauma lives in our cellular memories. So just talking about it alone, what some people share is that that alone didn’t get to the root energetic transformation. My doorway to a deeper study of the mind body spirit connection actually came in my transition out of being a professional modern dancer.

So my first love dream was to be a dancer. I studied it all over the world, became a professional modern dancer. And then pretty early, actually in that career, I became pregnant with my daughter. So I’d been married for a few years and as life would have it, I get pregnant. I’m 25, only 25 when I get pregnant with her. And being the daughter of a thought leader, of course, all of her friends are handing me all these books on natural birth. And I’m very feeling the fittest I’ve ever felt in my life. And I’m understanding manifestation. And I’m like, I got this. I can have a natural birth. So I trained for this natural birth. Like I’m training to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. I’m visualizing every night. I’m reading my dream birth. I’ve got the whole plan. And I actually ended up with a 50, five, zero 50 hour labor that ended in an unwanted epidural. Although it was either epidural or end up with a C-section because I stalled in my labor. 

So after my birth, I’m thinking, okay, here I am the best shape of my life. Here I am doing everything that I’ve been told to do to all the exercises and the natural birth classes and the visualization and the vision. And so clearly there was something, there was a disconnect here. What was this disconnect? And that really launched me on this quest to discover what had happened for me. But I, it was also this doorway into what I do today, right? What I do today, which is people want to have this beautiful, amazing life. And often there’s a disconnect between the head and the heart or between the mind and the body. And what it was for me was in my dance days, I had a very abusive controlling and critical relationship with my body. I told my body when to eat, what to eat, when to move. I often overworked and under rested at that period of time. Well, if you want a natural birth, you actually need to come at your relationship with your body through the lens of love, trust, and a deep surrender to the body’s wisdom. And so on this quest, I found mentors, teachers, books, all sorts of materials that helped to teach me really what innately I knew deep down that there is this divine connection between the mind, the body, and the spirit. 

And so as I began to discover all of this, I began to find conscious dance and I found some conscious dance mentors at the time. And I began to dance. Now, how does this connect to healing trauma? Well, my birth was a very traumatic experience for certain aspects of it that created trauma in my body that I honestly didn’t even know until I started dancing. And in conscious dance, the difference between regular dance is it’s choreographed movement. There’s a right way and a wrong way to do the movement. In conscious dance or in transcend dance, you’re unlocking and unleashing this inner dancer from within this inner healer. I like to call it your wise inner being, or you also have this inner doctor within you that is healing you as long as you know how to connect to and trust this inner being. Right? So I start doing this conscious dance and in the dance practice, I could feel the pain, the grief, even the physical trauma that I had endured as part of this birth begin to heal, begin to shed, begin to let go. I started to talk to other conscious dance practitioners, as well as leaders. One of my good friends, I talked to her at the time, and she talked to me all about years and years of therapy to overcome her sexual abuse. And it wasn’t until she found conscious dance and started dancing that the deepest layers of healing occurred. And now 20 years later, now that I’ve created my own conscious dance modality, taking the best of everything I had learned from my mentors and leaders and bringing in layers of personal development and transformational principles into the conscious dance practice, I have found many, many clients heal traumas and deep wounds by means of these principles. It’s pretty amazing, pretty powerful. Oh, and by the way, the successful part of the birth story is that I went on to have two more children. My son, Joel, who’s now 20, I had him in two hours and my son, Joaquin, I had him all natural dream birth in 90 minutes. Now I wasn’t going for speed. I was just simply going for a harmonious, beautiful, natural birth. And using the principles I had learned along the way, I was able to do that. 

Beautiful story. Thank you for sharing. So what are some of the top health benefits of dancing you’ve seen with your clients? 

Yeah, I would say several things. The difference between transcend dance and other types of dance fitness or fitness classes in general is oftentimes if you’re feeling like you have a headache or an stomach or an injury or something like that, typically you’ll opt out and be like, I’m not going to do that class today. In transcendance, I actually invite clients to bring their ailments to class because we’re actually re-energizing the body. We’re releasing tension and stagnant energy, low vibration energy, and we’re connecting to this effervescent flow of energy that we all have access to. So by the end of class, they’re saying things like, I came with a headache. My headache is gone. I had a tight foot that is completely released. I was feeling a little low energy or not as my best self. Now I’m feeling rejuvenated and full of joy and aliveness. 

The other thing that I often hear, particularly from those that would consider themselves non-dancers, people that say they’re clumsy, they have two left feet, they’ve been told they can’t dance, or they’re super self-conscious. This modality unlocks that uninhibited, confident, free being without alcohol, without drugs, without having to be at a wedding. You know what I mean? All of a sudden they come alive and they feel seen, acknowledged. They feel safe in this environment and they find this ability to really move and become more embodied. If you’re that self-conscious and you’ve been told all your life, oh, don’t dance, don’t dance, you actually kind of rise above your body. What I often hear from those clients is they feel clumsy. They bump into things. They trip over things. It’s because they’re not actually grounded in their body. 

One of the benefits of being more embodied through a modality like this is you actually inhabit the world in a more graceful way. You move fluidly and you have spatial awareness is what I would call it. I could go on and on. There’s new science actually about bone density health, as well as the ability to retain muscle. You would think weight training would score the highest. They’re actually finding that dance, because there’s different movements going on in the body at all times, the twitch muscles, there’s fast twitch and slow twitch muscles actually help retain and sustain muscle mass above and beyond resistance training in some of these studies in the UK. It’s balance, cardiovascular health, mental health, physical health. The list is incredibly long in terms of the health benefits of dance. It’s amazing. 

I love how you put it in a scientific way. For me, it’s just very simple. Dancing is a good brain break. Therefore, it should be in our life, even if it’s for a couple seconds, like you talked about earlier, just to dance across the living room and dancing through your house to the kitchen. That’s going to add up that compound effect to your everyday life. 

Exactly. Yeah. The benefits don’t require hours and hours of dance. Literally just a few minutes of dance they have found creates that dose of happy hormones that activates dopamine and oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins are all released. If you choose a song that makes you happy is part of it. Music is part of the health benefits of dance because we’re usually dancing. You don’t have to use music. Sometimes I’m just dancing around and my kids are like, why are you dancing? I’m like, because it feels good, but infusing music into it is also part of the health benefits of dance as well. 

For someone new to the concept of conscious dance and holistic wellbeing, would you say dancing is accessible to people of all ages and backgrounds? 

 Yes. Yes. The beautiful thing about a conscious dance modality like transcend dance is that it absolutely crosses the age barrier. So you can do this with your children. We have transcend dance facilitators that I’ve trained who work with senior citizens. You can do this in a chair. I actually have clients who are healing from surgery, who are in bed that do very minimal movement. They’re able to do an entire transcend dance session while recovering from surgery. And that’s also because we’re activating the mind. If you’ve ever seen a, an Olympic athlete getting ready for their competition, you will often see them wearing headphones. You’ll often see them with their eyes closed. And sometimes if you think about a skier, you’ll see them imagining you can actually see in their brains that they’re visualizing themselves going down there and doing their routine. You’ll see this with gymnasts as well. So it is not new information that the power of the mind is massive. 

They did a scientific study with basketball players with free throws. That’s where you stand way back and you throw the ball and it goes through the hoop, right? So they took and split the group in half, half of the group, they just had visualizing the free throws. The other half of the group actually physically did the physical action. And they found that the group that just visualized it didn’t actually physically do the action improved equally to the ones that were physically doing. That’s because there is a brain body connection. So in transcendence, we’re activating the power of the mind and visualization, which activates our creative brain. We spend so much of our day in our left logical intellect, which is fine. But part of, we know that we don’t access nearly the capacity of the brain. And we do when we’re younger, we activate and access. Part of that is we’re more mobile and moving. We have recess or we’re running around, we’re playing, we’re using our imagination. We’re creating things when we’re young. So in transcendence, we’re actually activating that part of our brain and we’re using the muscle of visualization. And for me, even when I was healing from my own knee surgery, I would do certain movements, but then I would actually visualize and imagine the movements that I was not yet able to do physically, but I would see myself do them. And I absolutely know a hundred percent that my full healing and my ability to walk and hop and skip and hike and run and, and leap and do all of the things that I now am able to do post surgery had a lot to do with, of course, regular science and following my, my doctor’s orders and doing physical therapy and all those things. Yes. And bringing in the power of the visualization, working with energy and the components found in transcendance. So, yeah. I love it. 

You kind of went straight into my next question, which is talking more about the interplay between movement and mindset, right? Cause we talk about mindset transformation, how that’s important in achieving your optimal health and joy. So what is your take on the interplay between the movement and the mindset?

] It’s so important. And I’ll just sum it up this way as a professional dancer and in the professional dance world in my early twenties, right? All the information coming at me from society, as well as even close people around me, I was told that you had to be very, very thin and you had to look a certain way to be a successful professional dancer. I received that information. I didn’t argue with it. I went ahead with it. And that led to some very abusive behaviors with my body, starving myself, overtraining, under eating, really trying to shrink my body. And it created this very adversarial body abuse mentality and results, right? 

With my actions through my birth process, which I shared. And then my finding of conscious dance, all of a sudden now I’m in classes where instead of looking at myself in the mirror and being told you need to have six pack abs and buns of steel, right? Which is very much the generation that I, that I was in at the time. And a lot of fitness classes, you’re taught to look at your flaws and try to fix those flaws with this fitness or dance or movement technique that you’re being taught, right? In conscious dance, there’s no mirrors. So number one, you’re not staring at this, just the flesh and tearing it apart in your mind, right? You’re taught to go within and to actually learn how to feel connected to your body. Let’s do this now, actually, let’s do this together. 

And I’m going to invite the listeners to do this with us. So we’re not just talking about it, but we’re also having a mini experience of it. So if you just close your eyes and just take a nice deep breath, breathing in through the nose, exhale out with a nice sigh, place one hand on your heart, one hand just below your belly button and just feel your body for a moment. 

So you notice the tips of your toes, notice your fingertips, bring your awareness to your ears, to your nose, and bring your awareness to your heart beating and your lungs breathing. Now, for some people who are very mindful and practicing meditation or yoga, maybe they did today send a wave of gratitude to their heart beating and their lungs breathing. But most people take for granted that their heart is beating 24 seven without rest from the day they are conceived. 

And that heartbeat is the first dance of life in the mother’s womb before their bodies even formed is the heartbeat to the last day that they take their last breath. The heart is beating. And even if we tried, we can’t breathe our own bodies or make our heart beat. It’s an involuntary thing that occurs right inside of our body. And yet for me, it’s a sign and signal that we are being breathed, that there is a power greater than us that has gifted us with this life. 

And for a moment, we can just send a wave of gratitude to our whole body for working so hard day in and day out, to be the vehicle through which we live and breathe and express and love and bring forth our dreams. And to look beyond the flesh, beyond the form to all of the many gifts that this body gives us. Gift of loving the gift of eyesight, smell, hearing, taste, touch, the ways your body is working. We’re grateful for that, right? 

We’re grateful for all the ways our body is working. And then we allow our eyes to gently open. 

So just a few minutes, right, of going within. That’s one of the biggest differences in conscious dance is it’s an inner world, right? You’re moving from the inside out. There’s this body wisdom that when I let go of the left brain and all of the ways I’ve been taught to move, and I learned to really come into this inner world where there’s a part of me that isn’t, it’s the higher self versus the human self, right? 

So when I activate conscious dance, I’m allowing my higher self to move the human self and to quote Gabrielle Roth, when you put the body in motion, the psyche heals. It’s such a powerful, powerful practice. So through this, I was able to heal my body abuser, so to speak, right? That inner, overactive inner critic. And I was able to install like an operating system. When you think about kind of rebooting your computer’s operating system, I literally had to pull the weeds of all of the limiting beliefs and disempowering messages that I received for many, many years about my body. I’m more of a curvy woman and embrace that this is how God made me. And there’s nothing wrong with me. And that actually, as I just eat healthy, find beautiful, fun ways to move my body and love my body, my body’s loving me. My body’s meeting me with this love. I am so much happier. I have so much more energy. I have more energy today and I’m almost 50. I just turned 49 than I did when I was in my mid twenties. You know, I am living a life of my dreams and really helping other people heal the disconnect, heal those disempowering messages that they received as well and find a different way of moving their body that is loving and supportive. 

I love that. And I completely resonate with what you just said, because I’m in my forties too. And I feel so much better than in my twenties and thirties. Oh my goodness. It’s because we are replacing our disempowering beliefs with high vibrational thoughts. And for you, it was being a curvy women. For me, it was something different, but everyone has disempowering beliefs. Just it’s possible, right? Beautiful. Jennifer, what is your favorite quote that you go by in life?

Oh, I love it. So my favorite quote is by Martha Graham and it is, there is a vitality, a life force and energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action. And because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and will be lost. 

Beautifully said. Thank you so much for sharing everyone. If you’ve enjoyed this powerful exercise and wisdom from Jennifer, check out Brave Thinking Institute, and it will be linked in the show notes. 

Thank you. Beautiful. Thank you so much for having me.