229. The Why & How of Going To Event Alone

Hello hello beautiful souls, this episode is for you if just thinking about entering a room full of strangers, without a friend by your side makes you want to crawl into a shell or simply cancel.

While bringing a plus-one to a social event is completely fine, I’ve found that it is much more fun, productive and beneficial to actually go to events solo, and that’s what I’ve been doing so here is the why and the how.

LISTEN TO THE PODCAST

WATCH THE EPISODE

Why do I go to events alone now? Primarily for five reasons:

1. Independence and freedom: When you go alone, you’re free to explore and engage with others without being chained to the expectations of another person. You have the autonomy to make decisions based solely on your own preferences and interests. When you’re solo, you have the freedom to come and go as you please, allowing you to fully immerse yourself in the event however you wish or take breaks whenever you need to. You’re not bound by the schedules or preferences of others.
2. Better Networking: Being alone encourages you to reach out and connect with new people. Without having to comfort to familiar group or your friend, you’re more likely to strike up conversations with strangers, potentially expanding your social and professional networks. I usually talk to the first person I see who is either sitting next to me, also alone or arrives early like I did. 
3. Opportunity for Introspection: I am a big advocate for doing reflection work to improve our lives. So being alone in a social setting can provide that much needed valuable time for introspection and self-reflections. It allows you to observe your surroundings, contemplate your thoughts and feelings, and more importantly gain insights into yourself. I love taking notes and reflect on them.
4. Openness to New Experiences: Without the safety net of companionship, you may be more open to trying new things or engaging in activities you might have otherwise said no to. This openness can lead to unexpected discoveries and new experiences and new opportunities worth going alone for.
5. Personal Growth: I know it can be hard to step in the door alone. But stepping out of your comfort zone by attending events alone can be a powerful way to build your self confidence. It challenges you to rely on your own social skills and adaptability, in turn upgrading your personal growth and resilience.

And if you still need a dose of confidence to make going to events alone not only happen but make the experience even more enjoyable, here are my top tips: 

1. Remember You Belong: One of the top reasons you can feel lonely and daunting at an event alone is saying to yourself that “you don’t belong”. Reaffirm and remind yourself that you were invited for a reason. You chose to attend for a reason. The ad you saw on Instagram or wherever that led you here was meant for you. Whatever it is that brought you to where you are now was for a reason. You have every right to be there and enjoy yourself just like everyone else.
2. Set Realistic Expectations: Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be the life of the party or make a certain number of friends or that you must get a number of collaborations. Instead, focus on simply enjoying the event and being open to new connections. I go to events with no agenda other than having fun. If a new opportunity rises from that, that’s icing on the cake. I’ve indeed signed clients from events, but that was never my agenda, my intentions were always to be authentically myself and to really make friends. Shift your focus from worrying about how you’re perceived to simply enjoying the experience. Engage in activities you genuinely enjoy or seek out conversations that bring you happiness.
3. Start Small: Begin by starting conversations with just one or two people. It can be less overwhelming to focus on building connections with a few individuals rather than trying to mingle with the entire crowd. I’ve been to events where I talked to hundreds and I’ve also been to events where I only talked to one or two people. But guess what, it’s the events where I only talked to one or two people, they are still on my feed and we’re still supporting each other and keeping the connection. 
4. Ask Open-Ended Questions: People generally enjoy talking about themselves. Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to share more about themselves, which can help break the ice and if they are the person that got to talk more, they will actually remember this conversation as a very good one. .
5. Find Common Ground: Look for common interests or experiences that you can bond over with others. This can help you feel more connected and confident in social interactions.
6. Take Breaks if Needed: It’s okay to step away from the crowd for a few minutes if you need a breather. Find a quiet corner or step outside for some fresh air to recharge and gather your thoughts. I always bring some extra snacks to events where I can just go out in the middle of a session to get some sun and get a quick bite to recharge. Back in March I was at the Alt Summit, on the first day I went back to my room and took a nap in the afternoon. The second day when I told people that I took a nap everyone’s reaction was that I was so brave and that they wished they had given themselves permission to take more breaks. And I was like it’s my life, of course I get to take breaks whenever I need to. Even when I pay for a conference, my health and wellbeing is still my top priority. 
7. Focus on Having More Fun: Before the event, visualize yourself having a great time and making meaningful connections. Positive visualization can help boost your confidence and ease anxiety before you go. And While at the event, shift your focus from worrying about how you’re perceived to simply enjoying the experience. Engage in activities you genuinely enjoy or seek out conversations that bring you happiness.

Remember, it’s perfectly normal to feel nervous in any social situation, especially when attending events alone. Be patient with yourself and recognize that social skills, like any other skill, is a learned skill and it will improve with practice and time. So go on adventures to attend social events solo and let me know how it went! Cheers to your continued journey to your own uprising and I’ll see you next week.