Top 5 Bad Habits Killing Your Confidence

Hello, hello beautiful souls. Happy New Year!

It’s the beginning of the new year and everyone is super motivated to start the year fresh, I know.

So let’s make a difference and see changes to life this year.

To start off the new year, I’d like to start with going over the top five mistakes I see people make in hindering their growth.

So please remind yourself to avoid these bad habits at all costs if you want to have a great year, boost your confidence and fulfill your highest potential.

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I’m not going to do a backwards countdown, five, four, three, two, one.

I’m going straight to number one because it’s so important that you get this habit out of your life now and that is not keeping promises to yourself.

That includes not showing up to appointments, signing up for online webinars, workshops, in person or online of course, being on time, workout, walking the dog, whatever it is.

Think back to the last time you did not keep a promise to yourself, okay?

Because not keeping promises to yourself is often considered the worst habit because it absolutely kills your self-trust, personal confidence and personal growth.

When you consistently fail to keep promises to yourself, you begin to doubt your own commitment and reliability.

This internal mistrust makes it harder to set and achieve future goals because deep down, subconsciously, you already no longer believe in your own abilities to follow through.

Each time you fail to keep a promise to yourself, it can trigger harsh inner criticism.

This cycle of negative self-talk will most likely be the cause of your self-sabotage.

Each broken promise, big or small, they reinforce the habit of procrastination, making it easier for you to justify putting things off, making more excuses for yourself and it becomes even harder to establish discipline to accomplish all your goals. Confidence is built through small, consistent wins to proving yourself that you can meet your commitments.

When you make a promise to yourself and keep the promise, you’re making a small deposit in your confidence bank.

And don’t we want that bank account to grow, right? So start small.

Even the smallest promises to yourself are critical.

For example, I promised myself to never hit the snooze button in the day, each day, knowing that the minute I wake up, I’ve kept my promise to myself and I am able and I am a reliable person and I can make things happen. So keep going, make promises to yourself that are realistic and achievable and actually follow through each day.

And over time, this will build your self-trust and confidence, creating a very positive cycle of growth and self-belief. Make a promise, keep your promise, that is working out your confidence muscle. We go to the gym to work out our physical muscles, so do this to work out your mental muscle.

The second habit that I see so often killing people’s growth is absolutely overthinking.

Oh boy, how I love this one because not only do we overthink, we actually then spend more time overthinking how we have wasted all that time overthinking. My favorite example was when a client said, Lucy, I realized I’ve been overthinking lately and then I realized yesterday I just spent one whole hour thinking about how I’ve been overthinking so much lately.

You see, that starts another cycle of harsh inner criticism, self-sabotage, procrastination, you name it.

This one bad habit of overthinking can trigger so much emotions and other bad habits that you go into inaction and negative spirals. So be very aware of holding yourself out of this habit intentionally.

When we overthink, we tend to not take action and put things on the back burner. And once it’s there, it might be there for a day, month, a year. And this is especially true for women.

We tend to not go for things until we feel 100% ready. And even when we are ready, we feel we’re still not ready. There’s always a missing piece, right?

There’s always not the right time. You’re always too busy. There’s always excuses.

So it’s really about whether or not you want something done. And once you’ve determined that you have a clear goal, there is something you want to do, stop overthinking. Yes, you want to think about the strategic planning and the action steps you will actually take to get there, but not to just sit around and think about all the possibilities that could go wrong, right?

Instead, think about all the opportunities that might arise from you taking more action.

Okay, the third habit is being scattered. I see this so much on coaching calls.

You want A, you want B, you want C, D, E, F, G.

I mean, that is great. That’s amazing. But you got to stay focused and just take action towards A first, right?

Because sometimes when we want the whole alphabet, we’re looking at Z as in zebra and thinking, oh my goodness, that is so daunting. That is so scary. I will never get there.

And therefore, you’re not getting anywhere. So stay focused. And this topic is so essential.

I’m actually going to do another whole episode just on how to stay focused. But for now, just always remember what you focus on growth. So only focus on your own growth and one area of your life or business or career that you like to focus on.

Yes, Lucy is a believer that you can have it all, but just not all at the same time. Lucy is a podcaster, an author and a coach. Well, I am all of that, but it did not happen all at the same time.

I launched my podcast and then I co-authored in a book and then I wrote my own book and it happened in baby steps, but I focus on one goal at a time. And so should you. If you have 10 things you want to do in the next year, let’s circle your top three and then decide on your number one and go do that.

This is the fourth habit that’s absolutely killing your confidence is negative self-talk, that inner critic, that little devil voice.

We got to listen to the angel, right? The angel, the devil says, you can’t do this.

Who are you to do this? Why are you doing this? Right?

And the angel is saying, you’ve got this. You are amazing. You are remarkable.

This is the perfect time. So which voice are you listening to? I’m hoping that you will have more awareness in your self-talk after today.

Whenever that negative self-talk arises, notice it and just make peace with it. Okay. I hear you, but it’s okay.

I’m going to go with my decision. I’m going to prioritize my life according to my values and I’m going to do what’s on my dream agenda. Notice some of the negative things you say to yourself.

Would you say them to a friend or is that to me? You’ll probably notice they are too cruel to be said to anyone else, but yourself. So don’t let that devil voice control your life.

And it’s usually really scary to go for your dreams and live your dream life because I’ve just absolutely lost my train of thoughts. And that just proves we’re all human. Now I could be saying, Oh Lucy, you are horrible.

You don’t deserve to be a podcaster. You’re not well-spoken. You’re not charismatic like other speakers, right?

See, there’s so much things you can say to yourself, but on the other hand, you can say, Ooh, I’m glad that happened.

This is a great example to show people that we are human and we all have these moments, right? These moments that we get to practice being more positive. These moments that we can learn something from and inspire others to speak up, show up and know that what’s possible for them is to stop listening to that negative self-talk and really just rise to the occasion.

Oh, and don’t focus on your fears. Don’t focus on yourself.

Usually when we are focusing on ourselves, we’re thinking, Oh, what are other going to think of me?

Who am I to do this? But focus more on serving others. No matter what line of job you are in, no matter what line of work you’re doing, you are here for a purpose.

You are making someone else’s day. So focus on the importance of you on this planet. And that’s how you shush your inner critic is by living your purpose.

It’s by living what you are put on this earth to do. And I know some people might have not found that, but again, you find that through taking action, because in the process, it could be that you actually find out what you’re doing now is not serving your purpose. And that’s also progress.

So all we have to do is make progress, not perfection.

The last one course, not the least is people pleasing and giving explanations when saying no. This is a really bad habit because we are pleasing others.

We’re saying yes, when we really mean no. How about that event that you’re going to? How about that dinner you’re going to?

When it’s a no, it’s a no. You do not have to explain why you’re not going. Thank you for the invitation, but I will pass this time.

It is that simple. Hello, sunshine. You deserve all the sunshine.

You deserve all the best in this life. So live life by your own design. You have the right, the birthright to choose your priorities in life.

When things are not going well, just remember that it’s temporary. You might be working on something that you don’t actually like doing. Remember that even life is temporary.

So focus on your end goal. Focus on where you are going and say no to everything else. So which one of these bad habits do you find yourself struggling with?

Or which one do you resonate with? Leave a message and let me know.